I said I would follow this theme until the end of May, but I think I can close the theme out now. Delighting myself in the Lord...what an adventure - although sometimes it has been kind of ho-hum, you know - the everyday stuff- but then! there were the really BIG days... like Christmas night! So what HAVE I learned from this adventure?
The first thing would be - "don't sweat the small stuff." Learning to just go with the flow and not spazzing out when things don't go the way you plan. The scripture "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to the Lord. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7
Not having a 'steady' job is a great way to put this verse into practice. As I write the word "steady", I have to smile to myself and ask myself to define steady. I have had the most steady, full-time, part-time job ever by substitute teaching. Seriously! I have consistently averaged 3-4 subbing jobs per week - well not counting post-Christmas! A little 'skinny' there but you know what? It all worked out. For the times when it was a little 'skinny', I reminded myself that God knew my needs, and had exactly the right amount of jobs, on the right days for me. And He did.
Learning to appreciate a flexible job schedule. I have learned to love my schedule. Sometimes I work all day, sometimes half-days, and then sometimes have days off in the middle of the week or the end of the week...long weekends...oh! and I have shorter work days! Out of school at 3:30 or 1:30 on Fridays....plus the schedule has been a god-send for working on my masters degree. which brings me to my next point...
Learning when to let go and having the courage to do it. I am postponing the master's program for a while. The bachelor's program with University of Phoenix was a great experience; however, the master's program has been nothing but stressful with the learning teams from the get-go. During spring break, after a particularly frustating experience, I cried "uncle" and withdraw from the program - mainly because
I was not having the time to plan for my upcoming wedding, much less get excited about it. What a relief to let school go for a time and concentrate on what needs to be priority. With our school's budget cuts, I am not too hopeful that a job will be available any time soon, so why continue the "killer" push to get done? Aside from the fact that that is my personality!
Another thing I let go of was my condo. I have tried selling and renting with no luck selling and worse luck with some of my renters! Ugh! Anyway, after struggling to hang onto the barbie townhouse, I decided to cry "uncle" on that one too and handed it back to the bank. Although I felt a bit of shame not fulfilling my mortgage agreement, I also felt a tremendous sense of relief. A huge burden was lifted from my shoulders and the release of a stress I did not realize I was carrying.
Everyday I continue to feel myself decompressing. I have been on overload for a long time and did not realize the daily pressure I have put myself under. I think a layer lifts each day as my schedule is freer and responsibilities are lighter.
As I close this phase of Delighting Myself, I know I will continue to use the things I have learned and subconsciously, if not consciously, continue to delight myself in the Lord.
Once again, God has been so very good to me as I struggled to find my way. I am grateful for the time I have had for this venture and all of the lessons the Lord has had for me.
I challenge you to have your own "Delight Yourself In the Lord" project. Who knows what God has in store for you!
Coming next: The Chubby Bride Work out Plan!