Friday, July 31, 2009

The Climb...continued

From yesterday...(this is my last email post as I will be using my blog-spot ...)

What a climb. As I think about the different climbs I have made in the last few years, I realized I have had this unconscious idea of "The End and she lived happily ever after." If I could just get the degree, I will "live happily ever after...." If I could just get a nice-paying job...If I could just be settled and not flitting from one place to the venture to the next.... of the biggest words in our vocabulary... (I still laugh at this saying my mom used to tell us when we used the word "if" - "Yeah, and IF frogs had tails they wouldn't bump their butts when they jumped either." We would kind of look at her like....huh?)

Miley Cyrus' theme song from the movie "Hannah Montana, The Movie" is called "The Climb." The words are exactly where I have been, where I am, and where I am going in life. Here are the words but I am going to break it down to what "The Climb" means to me...


I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming ( currently the degree...) but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it, (No the voice is saying "you still can't get a job")
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction (I'm not lost just confused and impatient over God's Plan)
My faith is shaking but I (My faith in God is steadfast and strong underneath but there are moments when I just flat don't understand..)
Got to keep trying (Hope....that is why I can't join Chris down at townpark and just give up)
Got to keep my head held high ( don't understand the plan but I am planting my feet firm on Jesus Christ and pushing forward walking and standing on faith)

There's always going to be another mountain (I am already planning on entering the master's program with Univ. of Phoen. in September)
I'm always going to want to make it move (There is always something else to accomplish - like that book mulling around in my head and heart)
Always going to be an uphill battle, (that is part of life)
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose, (took a HUGE gamble this summer on a job and lost)
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's The Climb (think of all the adventures, lessons learned and places I have been - spiritually and physically! Can't say my life is boring!)

The struggles I'm facing, (seeking the career)
The chances I'm taking (living on faith - literally)
Sometimes they knock me down but (started wearing a butt-pad)
No I'm not breaking (I will NOT give in to despair or self-pity - I am Jaye Price, daughter of a King, hear me roar!)
I mean I know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah (It's not the good times we remember the most - it's the hard ones and the lessons we learn. How many times did we hear our parents say, "When I was going to school we had to walk 10 miles in the snow - barefoot - to get there!" They don't remember all the times they had shoes and got to school in a bus or warm truck or car....)
Just got to keep going (I will wake up everyday and say, "This is the day the LORD has made - I will rejoice and be glad in it! and think of something fun and productive...or maybe just do today)
And I,
I got to be strong (that label has been applied to me many times but I am only strong because in my weakness GOD becomes strong....."Jesus loves me this I know.....I am weak but He is strong")
Just keep pushing on, ( I refuse to sit down and throw my hands up and say, "I am done. This is too hard.)

Keep on moving (Walk tough)
Keep climbing (It's worth the climb)
Keep the faith baby (No worries there)
It's all about
It's all about
The climb

Keep the faith
Keep your faith

The thing about the climb is this....there is always another one. The realization I have come to is this: THERE ISN'T A 'THE END.....AND SHE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER'..... until I close my eyes in the final sleep and wake up staring at my Jesus.

But meanwhile back at the ranch or rather at the Barbie Condo, Ms. Jaye will try to fulfill the words of her favorite quote:

"Life is not meant to be a gentle journey to the grave arriving in pristine condition, but rather a wild roller coaster of a trip, sliding in sideways, a mocha in one hand and a bar of chocolate in the other, completely used up and screaming whoooeeee! What a ride!" (or climb)

The Climb

Just so you know I don't have altzheimers...I realize I wrote about this in my blog last year but it has new meaning this hang with me...there is a point...

Last year I hiked Pagosa Peak for the first time. Let me try to get your head wrapped around what that was like. First, Pagosa's elevation is about 6,000 ft. Pagosa Peak is 12,556 ft. in elevation. You drive to the trail head which can be an adventure in itself - 10 miles per hour over the bumpiest "road"- I use that term loosely - to get there. Then it is about a 1.3 mile hike up the mountain to the peak. Just a mile....yeah right ....1.3 miles on a pretty steady incline.

There is a trail to lead the way but there can also be fallen trees on the path and you must decide whether you can hike your leg over or maybe it would be best to climb under it. You walk a few minutes and stop to get your breathe and take a peak at the beautiful scenery around you -- in case you have been so busy watching where you walk and figuring out how to walk and breathe, you forgot about the scenery. And you are huffing and puffing as the air gets thinner and thinner. But when you stop for that quick rest and look around, you take a moment to take in the beauty of the place and gasp at the beauty surrounding you. And then you keep walking.

Finally you are above treeline and in this meadowlike area. You can look down in the valleys before you and see how high you have far....and you ask the person wearing the much farther? how high ARE we? She says, "We have 1,000 feet to go" woohoo. really. that far... huh. you look up and it is right there....really?....1,000 feet more? You take a deep breath and keep going. You look at your watch and see you have been hiking for about 2 plus hours.

Then you find yourself really above the trees...and it is rocky...and you wonder...where's the trail? Oh is it that tiny little trail you thought was for the mountain goats? Yep, that would be it. Now there are no trees around you. Just a climb following a trail truly meant for mountain have become the mountain goat. All of a sudden you are on top of the!...uh...don't get too excited because it's just the peak before THE PEAK.

You look up and there it is - a beautiful, majestic peak looks so high...and rocky...and a little scary...can I make it? That trail is getting more rocky and is it skinnier?...I can do this you say. And you keep climbing.

All of a sudden - you are there! It is the most amazing sight ever! You are actually standing on top of a 12,556 ft. peak. You are even with the clouds! If that cloud on the left there was any closer, you could touch it! You can turn 360 degrees and see the tiny speck of Pagosa, and Navajo Lake and rivers and green valleys and smaller mountains -

We were fortunate enough to hike on a day when it was almost cloudless and we didn't have to worry about an electrical storm coming up. The hiking rule for Pagosa Peak is to be off the top of the mountain by 12 pm because if the rain comes, you are above treeline and a target for lightning. After all the photo ops were done, we sat down and ate lunch.

3 hours after the starting at the trail head, we were there and having lunch.

What goes up must come down. After about 30 minutes up at THE PEAK, we started back down. Going up the mountain you are huffing and puffing and resting every few minutes. Going down the mountain, you stop every few minutes to give your knees and toes a rest. Balancing your weight and using good hiking posture helps the back but puts pressure on the knees. Because you are going down at a nice little decline, your toes hit the ends of your shoes and puts lots of pressure on them as well. It doesn't take as long to get down but it is still a difficult trek down. The euphoria from the top helps because you have just been to the most incredible place.

An hour and a half later, my group was sitting on the tailgate of the truck... after taking turns finding a bathroom bush!...we were exhausted.

This trek is an all day thing. Meet at the church parking lot at 7:45 a.m.; drive to the trail head....about an hour....9:00 hit the trail....12:00 at the Peak....2:00 back at the trailhead...wait for everyone else to get down...load up...back at the church around 5ish.
What a climb. WHAT A CLIMB!!!!

What a climb. As I think about the different climbs I have made in the last few years, I realized I have had this unconscious idea of "The End and she lived happily ever after." If I could just get the degree, I will "live happily ever after...." If I could just get....

to be continued....have to study more for the biology test....hold the thought.

School Update

Let's see...last night at 11:49 p.m. I posted my Humanities final...woohoo! I am done with that class. Now for biology...actually...I have kind of enjoyed that class. I have some rather dippy test grades - 59...103...78...every other test I have had some crazy schedule like taking the Praxis and almost being brain dead and then spending 34 hours in 3 days on the road getting to my daughter's baby shower. (Totally worth the grade sacrifice!) Great testing set up. Driving and studying is less than productive and promotes hazardous driving.

In three days I will take my final biology test and be done with the class. That leaves...University of Phoenix. As of tomorrow I have two weeks and one day left to finish the class and GRADUATE!!! What a summer!

I mentioned the Praxis....remember the test I took earlier this summer? I PASSED IT!!! So I have an endorsement to teach Middleschool Language Arts but since I didn't get the job...oh well...

I am exhausted and overwhelmed beyond belief. Along with trying to study and write papers, I have been looking for jobs. I have applied in Durango, Bayfield, Ignacio, and will apply for a job here in Pagosa tomorrow. I have an interview (tomorrow/Monday) in Ignacio as a headstart teacher. Not really what I want to do but sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to get to do what you want to do.

I am scared. I know that God promises to take care of me but there sure seem to be a lot of "no's" lately. Sometimes I see Chris the homeless guy downtown and I think of other homeless people and I wonder at what point did they just say "I give up. This is too hard" and they just quit. I don't know the answer to that but I do know that whatever it is that snapped inside of them doesn't seem to exist in me. No matter how hard things are I can't just throw up my hands and give up.

I have prayed and my prayers have had phrases such as "....tired of being the poster child for faith....", " there really a job for me out there?..." "Have I persevered these past three years in order to still not get a job?"....the competitions stiff and I am inexperienced..."Lord, I need an open door." Actually, the day I found out I passed the Praxis exam, I had prayed for a glimmer of hope. I was almost sick as I opened up the website to find out and then it didn't say. I spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to find someone who could tell me whether I passed. I was deliriously happy when I was told I had passed the exam. My glimmer of hope.

Please continue to pray for me.
1. Pray for me to have wisdom to know what to do.
2. I want to get into the teaching field but I need a miracle from God for that to happen.
3. More than anything I want some stability. I want a steady job with a steady paycheck.
4. Pray for me to have renewed hope. My hope thread is pretty thin.

PS I have a beauty tip warning for you. Do not try to massage the cellulite off of your body. It just bruises you and makes you look like somebody beat you up. Seriously...and it doesn't help the cellulite go away.
Jaye P.

Power Living

Well Team,

I didn't make the cut - as in- I didn't get the position at the Jr. High I was hoping to get. As for the test - well - I am still waiting - two more weeks. So how am I doing? Great!

Seriously....okay - last night I did cry and feel sorry for myself and wanted to go to Sonic for a Banana Cream Pie shake or chocolate malt but that would have busted my 20 lbs in 20 days goal (saw that in the paper this week-really I did- and I have created my own plan to get there but we won't get on that subject) - Back to crying and feeling sorry for myself -that would be the Jaye thing to do - first - until I got a grip. Actually, I didn't even cry that much. Must be getting tough.....or experienced with these sharp left and right turns God guides me through....LOL.....Went to bed with Scarlett O-Hara's words on my lips, "Tomorrah is anothuh day." And it is.

I got up this morning, made coffee, went out on the patio to sit in my hammock swing to contemplate my future. As I sat there staring out over the lake and at the mountains, the Lord directed my thoughts to David and Goliath. Funny place to venture huh? I opened my bible to I Samuel 17 and read this story and let the Lord speak to my heart. Have ya'll read this story lately? Good, because I am going to tell it to you the way God spoke it to me today.

David has gone out to the valley of Elah to bring food to his brothers and bring back news to his father over how the boys are doing. When David gets there, there is this stand off between the Israelies and the Philistine army. Goliath is taunting the Israelites and David hears it and sees the Israelites flee and run from the giant as he throws his taunts. David is puzzled by this and asks the men:
Verse 26: "What is going to happen to the person who kills this Philistine and take the reproach from Israel? And furthermore (my words), who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should taunt the armies of the Living God?" In other words, what are you going to do about it?
David's brother Eliab gets angry at David for coming to the battlefield. (Not sure why - he doesn't have very nice words for David but it is evident he doesn't want David down there) and I love David's words.
Verse 29: "What have I done now? Was it not just a question?" (Does that sound like a little brother or what?)
Then David volunteers to go fight the giant. Saul tells him, "You are just a kid. How can you possibly fight a giant who has been trained for battle since his youth?"
Still David is not deterred. In fact, David utters these powerful words: "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." David is basically saying to Saul and the Israelites, "Don't you know the God you serve? No one but no one taunts our God and with the help of the Lord I am going to prove it to you."
David is just a kid but he is a kid who knows who his God is - totally. And he is not afraid of facing the giant because of the knowledge and revelation he possesses. This is power living! Or as pastor Dan says, "Living in High Definition" The next part is even better....

Saul tries to outfit David with armor,helmet and sword but it doesn't work for David. He isn't used to it and honestly, he doesn't need it. He is going out to battle in the strength and might of the Lord. He tells Saul, "Thanks, but no thanks." And he marches onto the battlefield. Goliath and David start walking toward each other and as Goliath nears, he realizes David is just a kid and is disgusted by the fact. David gets close to the Philistine and I can just see him stopping, planting his feet and shouting out to Goliath:

Verse 45-47: "You come to me with sword, spear and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. And I will give the dead bodies of the army of the Philistines this day to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord's and He will give you into our hands."

Ummm....fighting words for sure....and Goliath rises and came and drew near to David - but DAVID ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine! This is so awesome! David runs to meet the challenge! No weak-kneed, timid entry for him - just go for it! just do it! And - what is even better is that he doesn't fumble in his bag for a stone and nervously put it in the sling hoping for the best - David confidently reaches in, grabs the stone, positions it in the sling and slings it at the giant and nails him in the forehead and kills him. Then just for good measure and to make his words true, David uses Goliath's sword to cut the giant's head off and brought the head to Saul. Wow! This passage shouts power and confidence!

So - what did this say to me in my situation today? I am going to be like young David. I know the God I serve and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I can walk in confidence in the power and might of His name. I don't have to fumble around for a bag of tricks I am hoping will work. The Lord's aim and direction is true even if it looks a little crazy to me.
I spent the last 5 months of the school year doing something I absolutely loved and I believe God directed me there. Getting to teach was just another step in the journey of life of directing me where I need to go.

The older I get the more I realize that life is a journey. I have said those words before but I am still learning to believe them. I will probably never stand on top of a mountain and plant my flag and say I have arrived - Please God - I hope I never do. My life journey may be like a butterfly - to flutter here and there - rest awhile - leave a mark on a life and/or take the mark someone embellishes me with and move on to the next adventure. However -whatever my life looks like, I want it to be a power-living, power-walking life like David. To walk forward in confidence, running to meet the challenge head held high and smiling and nailing the lesson or challenge thrown before me. Now that is Power - Living!