I would rather write about my adventures than study.....I think I am burning out on the studies....how much can you stuff into your brain?
Let me tell you about biology. First off, I am enjoying it about as much as I did in High School....not much. organelles, mytosis, ribosomes, chromosomes.......today we had to look at slides under a microscope and identify and draw what we saw of the stages of cell division in a plant and animal cell....I finally conceded to being slide challenged and called the instructor over. My description of the slide was like this:
"It looks like corn on the cob with this little dark kernel looking thing..." The instructor stopped, looked at me, and with a quizzical expression said, "I don't believe I have ever heard it described like that...." Then she told me what I was looking for and told me I could just copy it out of the book. biology lab is going to be great.... 7 weeks and counting...
Humanities - love that class and the instructor is a riot. She has this very dry sense of humor and makes me laugh all the time. I would tell you some of the things she says but you just have to be there to get it....the subject? lots of stuff....my favorite so far is the story about the little child born in a corn field and raised by corn.....see - you have to be there.....
Hostel life .....rocks! Seriously! I would do it again. Smelly roommate left yesterday and amino acid recovery lady will be there through next week. She is really nice but I realized very quickly she values sleep. I kept getting text messages the first night after we went to bed. I turned my volume off or at least to vibrate. The next morning she says, "You were on the phone late and a lot last night." I said, "You heard me texting?" She replied, "I have a hard time sleeping...." point taken. Turned the phone off last night.
There are new people there all the time. Two guys from Sweden were making their way across the United States; college engineering and aerospace grad from Univ. of Arizona chillin' out and rock climbing for the week; a team of college students working for the forestry service for the summer travelling across Colorado; just a conglomeration of people...it is very interesting....at night some of them get together on the guitars and jam, toke a little dope...just kidding....drugs are not allowed......thought I would throw that in there since it is such a part of the hippy life....
Co-ed bathrooms - no big deal. It's not like camp and everybody is on the same schedule getting ready. I think I only encountered two males in the bathroom....the shaving guy and some guy yesterday taking a shower. (I went back and read that and it sounds a little risque but it wasn't....he did sing in the shower though...happy little guy...) I know it sounds wild and crazy but it really isn't. The showers and bathroom stalls all lock and are totally enclosed....the shower stalls have a changing area within the locked stall....no big deal.....
Had the marriage, had the kids now living the financially challenged, white, female, single college life.....I am living life backward and loving it!
I have to be a responsible college student and study...My new boyfriend Praxis is calling my name...
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The princess has gone hippy....
Have I ever mentioned that you should follow me fast? or that I should follow me fast? LOL Heed the advice. I am on my next adventure! I told my mom I am the daughter that has the most adventurous, unexpected life.
The goal is in sight. In EIGHT! Did you hear me? Eight more weeks, I will graduate from the University of Phoenix with a B.S. degree in Healthcare Services/Management! Holy Frijoles! I NEVER thought the day would come! When I started the program in September 2006, the year 2009 seemed light years away...and now I am living in 2009! Now for the adventure part....
I have applied for the 8th grade Language Arts position at Pagosa Springs Jr. High where I spent the last 5 months of my life in a long-term sub position. Oh yeah - adventure...
Although I only have two classes to finish UoP, I have a science and humanities core class requirement to finish as well. So I am enrolled in summer classes at a community college in Durango (an hour away from Pagosa Springs). One class is MWF and the other is Tues/Thurs. THEN, I am taking the Praxis II exam to be certified in Middle School language arts.....kind of important since that is what I am applying to teach. The test is in two weeks - actually a week and a half now. So - I am taking UoP, two classes in Durango and studying for a major certification test - just a bit on overdrive. Adventure -
To make the best use of my time, drive time and study time and gas usage, I decided to stay in Durango for the next couple of weeks. My humanities class will go on-line after next week and I won't need to come everyday - plus I will have taken my Praxis and that pressure will be off. However the additional existing pressure is that I am unemployed and spending money on accommodations is an issue - what to do -
Adventure....
I decided I would live in my car. I can do this for two weeks. I would bring my sleeping bag, book light and clothing. I would park my car at Walmart (they let you park overnight) and in the morning go brush my teeth, comb my hair, and change clothes, put on makeup etc. For computer service I would use the library or the computer lab at Pueblo Community College. For safety, I would borrow my friend's son's 22 pistol he taught me to shoot, and sleep with it. I even thought about trying out the free breakfast bar at one of the hotels - okay - so I am not a guest - but I have always wanted to try that and see if I could get away with it. I know the little scoundrel in me is coming out. For some reason, my friends and family were not cool with this plan.
I just received my tax refund check (God's timing is always perfect!) Now I have some funds to change my plan up. So I decided to stay in a hostel. I have always wanted to try that out. I found one in Durango. Yesterday I checked in. Very nice accommodations but very different...I have joined the hippy lifestyle...
I am sharing a room with two other women. One is here for two weeks in an addiction recovery program. She is having amino acid therapy to replace lost brain cells. I hope it works. Within two minutes of talking with her, she told me there was a hostel in Durango to stay in....ummm newsflash...we are in Durango....in the hostel...as we speak...hmmm....maybe I will go get that padlock for my locker space...LOL....the other woman doesn't believe in deodorant....lovely....however she did take a shower before bedtime. How can you still smell after a shower....oh yeah...natural soap...give me bath and body works any day...my bed is by the window and the window is open...after a while I didn't smell anything.
The hostel is like a house with a lot of house guests of every type. The upstairs living area is equipped with a full-size large kitchen,living area with 3 computers, and a couple of bedrooms. It is very modern and extremely nice.
Oh yeah, bathrooms....Since I am downstairs in the "dorm" we also have co-ed bathroom facilities. Hmmm...this is a new experience as well. There is a private bathroom if you want to use it but only for potty purposes. The tub is under repair so you have to use the co-ed bathroom facilities for a shower. Okay - let me just say that this morning when I got up to use the bathroom and opened the door to the communal bathroom and a man was shaving at the sink....I wasn't sure I was cut out for this lifestyle - BUT - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do - so I smiled, walked past him into the stall and well...you know... LOL
As for costs - $22 a night for a very nice place to stay - you just have to get used to living with people you don't know. Kind of like college life only with an older,(and younger)mixed crowd.
well....must go and study for awhile...I am in turbo study mode...every minute counts.....just needed to blog my thoughts...
Laughing as I type....
Jaye
The goal is in sight. In EIGHT! Did you hear me? Eight more weeks, I will graduate from the University of Phoenix with a B.S. degree in Healthcare Services/Management! Holy Frijoles! I NEVER thought the day would come! When I started the program in September 2006, the year 2009 seemed light years away...and now I am living in 2009! Now for the adventure part....
I have applied for the 8th grade Language Arts position at Pagosa Springs Jr. High where I spent the last 5 months of my life in a long-term sub position. Oh yeah - adventure...
Although I only have two classes to finish UoP, I have a science and humanities core class requirement to finish as well. So I am enrolled in summer classes at a community college in Durango (an hour away from Pagosa Springs). One class is MWF and the other is Tues/Thurs. THEN, I am taking the Praxis II exam to be certified in Middle School language arts.....kind of important since that is what I am applying to teach. The test is in two weeks - actually a week and a half now. So - I am taking UoP, two classes in Durango and studying for a major certification test - just a bit on overdrive. Adventure -
To make the best use of my time, drive time and study time and gas usage, I decided to stay in Durango for the next couple of weeks. My humanities class will go on-line after next week and I won't need to come everyday - plus I will have taken my Praxis and that pressure will be off. However the additional existing pressure is that I am unemployed and spending money on accommodations is an issue - what to do -
Adventure....
I decided I would live in my car. I can do this for two weeks. I would bring my sleeping bag, book light and clothing. I would park my car at Walmart (they let you park overnight) and in the morning go brush my teeth, comb my hair, and change clothes, put on makeup etc. For computer service I would use the library or the computer lab at Pueblo Community College. For safety, I would borrow my friend's son's 22 pistol he taught me to shoot, and sleep with it. I even thought about trying out the free breakfast bar at one of the hotels - okay - so I am not a guest - but I have always wanted to try that and see if I could get away with it. I know the little scoundrel in me is coming out. For some reason, my friends and family were not cool with this plan.
I just received my tax refund check (God's timing is always perfect!) Now I have some funds to change my plan up. So I decided to stay in a hostel. I have always wanted to try that out. I found one in Durango. Yesterday I checked in. Very nice accommodations but very different...I have joined the hippy lifestyle...
I am sharing a room with two other women. One is here for two weeks in an addiction recovery program. She is having amino acid therapy to replace lost brain cells. I hope it works. Within two minutes of talking with her, she told me there was a hostel in Durango to stay in....ummm newsflash...we are in Durango....in the hostel...as we speak...hmmm....maybe I will go get that padlock for my locker space...LOL....the other woman doesn't believe in deodorant....lovely....however she did take a shower before bedtime. How can you still smell after a shower....oh yeah...natural soap...give me bath and body works any day...my bed is by the window and the window is open...after a while I didn't smell anything.
The hostel is like a house with a lot of house guests of every type. The upstairs living area is equipped with a full-size large kitchen,living area with 3 computers, and a couple of bedrooms. It is very modern and extremely nice.
Oh yeah, bathrooms....Since I am downstairs in the "dorm" we also have co-ed bathroom facilities. Hmmm...this is a new experience as well. There is a private bathroom if you want to use it but only for potty purposes. The tub is under repair so you have to use the co-ed bathroom facilities for a shower. Okay - let me just say that this morning when I got up to use the bathroom and opened the door to the communal bathroom and a man was shaving at the sink....I wasn't sure I was cut out for this lifestyle - BUT - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do - so I smiled, walked past him into the stall and well...you know... LOL
As for costs - $22 a night for a very nice place to stay - you just have to get used to living with people you don't know. Kind of like college life only with an older,(and younger)mixed crowd.
well....must go and study for awhile...I am in turbo study mode...every minute counts.....just needed to blog my thoughts...
Laughing as I type....
Jaye
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Toenails, bras and other random things
Wellll.....geez....it's been awhile. So "awhile" that I couldn't remember my password to get on here. So MUCH has happened since I last wrote. But first - let me tell you about my nail adventure. As in fingernail adventure.
In my own personal ecomonic crunch, I have had to give up doing my nails - you know going to the salon to "get my nail done"....in "15 minute"...."you pick culah (color)"....it has been a really hard thing but I have survived.(LOL) However,I saw a commercial on TV for "Kiss" nails and they looked really good so when I went to the grocery store last time I checked to see if they had them and they did. So I bought them. This past Saturday I decided to experiment with them. Spent 30 minutes putting on my fingernails and they looked fantastic! French manicure in 30 minutes - just glue them on and shazam! they are on - I can handle this. Then I put some on my toes. (you get 24 in the box for fingers and toes) Holy smokes! they are looking great. But how long will they last? Well, it is Tuesday and I have glued two toenails back on so far....until a little bit ago. got up from the sofa to make a potty break and looked down and a toenail was gone. When did I lose it? I know I made it home with it. So I start looking for my toenail...you know how people used to look for contacts in the carpet? Well I am looking for my toenail - back and forth across the Barbie Townhouse condo - can't find the toenail. Every little piece of white whatever is snatched up in hopes it is the "nail." finally I decided I would just have to take out a new nail. As I sat back on the sofa and picked up my computer - there it was - the little nail was under the computer. Ok so we are up to 3 toenails being glued back on. I have put the glue in my purse for emergencies - probably should add some nails too - don't you think?
Now for the bra adventure -
I am teaching school (I will tell you about that later) and Friday I wore a top with a strapless bra. We get out at 1:30 every Friday - at least the kids do - and we stay for staff meeting and planning. Early day or not, no matter how hard I try I just can't get out of that place before 5:30 or 6:00 and usually I am the last one to leave unless the janitors are still cleaning. So, Friday, I have this strapless bra on and it is killing me. I was sitting at my desk so I decided to take it off. After all, it is just me, myself and I left at the school. Or so I thought. I am grading papers and getting caught up and there is a knock at my door....it is one of my students and her mother. I am thinking, "I can just carry these papers in front of me and it will be fine plus the top is print and loose - they won't see anything." I let them in, visit a minute and they leave. Ok. that was cool. 10 minutes later....another student knocks on the door - a boy student - "Ms. Jaye, can I use your key?" Sure I say smiling and toss him the key. He brings it back and I think okay that worked. A few minutes later another male student comes to my door and asks to borrow my key....and then another....then I realize the jr. honor society is having a car wash and that is why kids are still there. After the last student threw me back my key and left, I very discreetly put the strapless b. back on. I think I'll just wait til I get home to get comfortable.....(LOL)
Jr. High - I think I was subbing the last time I wrote...well...talk about the hand of the Lord on you...finding Favor with the King and all those fine things....Wow...listen to this story.
January: I am subbing quite often in the jr. high. One particular day I was there on a ski day - yeah get this - the resort gives the kids 5th-8th grade 4 ski days a year. Total cost of skiing for the day is $25. This includes lift ticket, ski and boot rental, and a lesson. Teachers get to go for free I think. Well I was subbing and I got to go. I went snowshoeing since I don't do the ski thing.
The 8th grade Language Arts teacher had given notice and the school had offered a job to a teacher in Alamosa, NM. However, she could not come until spring break.
So my awesome, wonderful friend Faith who is a paraprofessional at the school just "HAPPENED" to be skiing with the 7th grade LA arts teacher who just happened to have me on speed dial for her sub! Faith asked her how the teacher search was going. The LA teacher answered that they had found someone but she couldn't come until spring break and they needed a long term sub until the new teacher could come. Faith says, "Why don't you ask Jaye? She would be great!" LA teacher loved the idea. As soon as we arrived back at school, she went to see the principal and recommended me for the sub position. They offered me the long-term sub position for 8th grade LA. I was only supposed to be there until the end of April. Well the teacher ended up not being able to accept the position and they asked me to stay for the rest of the year. I have been the 8th grade sub since January and next Tuesday I will have filled the position for half the year. and.....I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!
You know all those crazy jobs, including the one I was FIRED from (I'm not bitter LOL) and the yucky medicine was for my good! I discovered I love teaching Language Arts, love jr. high kids,.....I have had the best time of my life these last few months.....until today I wasn't ready for school to end but today I told my last period class I had one nerve left and they were all on it! You know how you come to that moment when it is time for your own personal, biological offspring to leave the nest? It is time for these kids to go to high school. A couple of them told me they may be held back and I am praying that the "No child left behind" is still in effect and they are moving on....LOL
It truly is so that "all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." (you all know I know that!) So now for the next HUGE faith step....
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO APPLY FOR THE POSITION! But I have an intense summer before me. I will graduate from University of Phoenix July 28th!!!!!!! Can't believe it is finally going to happen but here is the intense schedule:
UoP: two classes left....I am not going to explain how that works but trust me it can be intense.
Pueblo community college, Durango - an hour away -: must take a science and humanities to finish core curriculum classes. Man I wish I had done those in Austin!
I will be traveling back and forth to Durango 5 days a week for my classes. I need to find a friend in Durango to stay with so that I can spend Mon & Wed nights in Durango (late night class followed by an early morning class)
Praxis I & II test June 13th: I have to pass these tests especially the Middle School Language arts one. Really, really, need to pass those tests to be qualified for the job.
I know that the Lord laid this job in my lap and I am so hoping it is going to become a permanent position. I have never wanted a job so badly in my life. I love what I am doing. However, it is a lot of intense study and work for the next couple of months. Here comes the faith step: I can't work and get all of my studying done. How on earth am I going to not work? I'll tell you - "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding..." that's how it is done.
Pray for me to accomplish all that is set before me. Pray for favor with the hiring team (oh by the way - we just received our NWEA results which is like a benchmark test done at the beginning of the year, middle and end. My results were very good. My kids scored more than a year's growth 3 out of 5 categories and at grade level on the other two categories. The superintendent of the school said, "Your sub is getting the job done." The principal said these results were impressive and I could be proud to show them to any school." I said, "Yeah and I came in here with no experience in the field!" Yes, I was pleased. Pray for financial favor...I don't know the how's and wherefore's, I just know my God.
Okay you are probably thinking I will never shut up....so good night and it felt good to write again!
Ms. Jaye
In my own personal ecomonic crunch, I have had to give up doing my nails - you know going to the salon to "get my nail done"....in "15 minute"...."you pick culah (color)"....it has been a really hard thing but I have survived.(LOL) However,I saw a commercial on TV for "Kiss" nails and they looked really good so when I went to the grocery store last time I checked to see if they had them and they did. So I bought them. This past Saturday I decided to experiment with them. Spent 30 minutes putting on my fingernails and they looked fantastic! French manicure in 30 minutes - just glue them on and shazam! they are on - I can handle this. Then I put some on my toes. (you get 24 in the box for fingers and toes) Holy smokes! they are looking great. But how long will they last? Well, it is Tuesday and I have glued two toenails back on so far....until a little bit ago. got up from the sofa to make a potty break and looked down and a toenail was gone. When did I lose it? I know I made it home with it. So I start looking for my toenail...you know how people used to look for contacts in the carpet? Well I am looking for my toenail - back and forth across the Barbie Townhouse condo - can't find the toenail. Every little piece of white whatever is snatched up in hopes it is the "nail." finally I decided I would just have to take out a new nail. As I sat back on the sofa and picked up my computer - there it was - the little nail was under the computer. Ok so we are up to 3 toenails being glued back on. I have put the glue in my purse for emergencies - probably should add some nails too - don't you think?
Now for the bra adventure -
I am teaching school (I will tell you about that later) and Friday I wore a top with a strapless bra. We get out at 1:30 every Friday - at least the kids do - and we stay for staff meeting and planning. Early day or not, no matter how hard I try I just can't get out of that place before 5:30 or 6:00 and usually I am the last one to leave unless the janitors are still cleaning. So, Friday, I have this strapless bra on and it is killing me. I was sitting at my desk so I decided to take it off. After all, it is just me, myself and I left at the school. Or so I thought. I am grading papers and getting caught up and there is a knock at my door....it is one of my students and her mother. I am thinking, "I can just carry these papers in front of me and it will be fine plus the top is print and loose - they won't see anything." I let them in, visit a minute and they leave. Ok. that was cool. 10 minutes later....another student knocks on the door - a boy student - "Ms. Jaye, can I use your key?" Sure I say smiling and toss him the key. He brings it back and I think okay that worked. A few minutes later another male student comes to my door and asks to borrow my key....and then another....then I realize the jr. honor society is having a car wash and that is why kids are still there. After the last student threw me back my key and left, I very discreetly put the strapless b. back on. I think I'll just wait til I get home to get comfortable.....(LOL)
Jr. High - I think I was subbing the last time I wrote...well...talk about the hand of the Lord on you...finding Favor with the King and all those fine things....Wow...listen to this story.
January: I am subbing quite often in the jr. high. One particular day I was there on a ski day - yeah get this - the resort gives the kids 5th-8th grade 4 ski days a year. Total cost of skiing for the day is $25. This includes lift ticket, ski and boot rental, and a lesson. Teachers get to go for free I think. Well I was subbing and I got to go. I went snowshoeing since I don't do the ski thing.
The 8th grade Language Arts teacher had given notice and the school had offered a job to a teacher in Alamosa, NM. However, she could not come until spring break.
So my awesome, wonderful friend Faith who is a paraprofessional at the school just "HAPPENED" to be skiing with the 7th grade LA arts teacher who just happened to have me on speed dial for her sub! Faith asked her how the teacher search was going. The LA teacher answered that they had found someone but she couldn't come until spring break and they needed a long term sub until the new teacher could come. Faith says, "Why don't you ask Jaye? She would be great!" LA teacher loved the idea. As soon as we arrived back at school, she went to see the principal and recommended me for the sub position. They offered me the long-term sub position for 8th grade LA. I was only supposed to be there until the end of April. Well the teacher ended up not being able to accept the position and they asked me to stay for the rest of the year. I have been the 8th grade sub since January and next Tuesday I will have filled the position for half the year. and.....I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!
You know all those crazy jobs, including the one I was FIRED from (I'm not bitter LOL) and the yucky medicine was for my good! I discovered I love teaching Language Arts, love jr. high kids,.....I have had the best time of my life these last few months.....until today I wasn't ready for school to end but today I told my last period class I had one nerve left and they were all on it! You know how you come to that moment when it is time for your own personal, biological offspring to leave the nest? It is time for these kids to go to high school. A couple of them told me they may be held back and I am praying that the "No child left behind" is still in effect and they are moving on....LOL
It truly is so that "all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." (you all know I know that!) So now for the next HUGE faith step....
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO APPLY FOR THE POSITION! But I have an intense summer before me. I will graduate from University of Phoenix July 28th!!!!!!! Can't believe it is finally going to happen but here is the intense schedule:
UoP: two classes left....I am not going to explain how that works but trust me it can be intense.
Pueblo community college, Durango - an hour away -: must take a science and humanities to finish core curriculum classes. Man I wish I had done those in Austin!
I will be traveling back and forth to Durango 5 days a week for my classes. I need to find a friend in Durango to stay with so that I can spend Mon & Wed nights in Durango (late night class followed by an early morning class)
Praxis I & II test June 13th: I have to pass these tests especially the Middle School Language arts one. Really, really, need to pass those tests to be qualified for the job.
I know that the Lord laid this job in my lap and I am so hoping it is going to become a permanent position. I have never wanted a job so badly in my life. I love what I am doing. However, it is a lot of intense study and work for the next couple of months. Here comes the faith step: I can't work and get all of my studying done. How on earth am I going to not work? I'll tell you - "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding..." that's how it is done.
Pray for me to accomplish all that is set before me. Pray for favor with the hiring team (oh by the way - we just received our NWEA results which is like a benchmark test done at the beginning of the year, middle and end. My results were very good. My kids scored more than a year's growth 3 out of 5 categories and at grade level on the other two categories. The superintendent of the school said, "Your sub is getting the job done." The principal said these results were impressive and I could be proud to show them to any school." I said, "Yeah and I came in here with no experience in the field!" Yes, I was pleased. Pray for financial favor...I don't know the how's and wherefore's, I just know my God.
Okay you are probably thinking I will never shut up....so good night and it felt good to write again!
Ms. Jaye
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Yucky Medicine
My mother was never one to take us to the doctor other than for vaccinations and scheduled checkups and the occasional emergency room visit. So when my sisters and I came down with colds, my mother had her own way to treat us......which we hated.
With that first sneeze and sniffle, after taking our bath and before tucking us in for the night, Mom would have the sick child stand before her and she would "grease" that child's chest and neck with Vick's and then have her (the sick one) turn around and Mom would "grease" the back. Then Mom would have us put on our pajama top, the kind that had the snaps around the waist.....some of you will remember those jammies.....the bottoms had feet in them and the top snapped down the back and attached to the bottoms with snaps around the waist. After we got the top on she would then pin a washcloth to the inside front of the pajamas and snap us all in. I guess the washcloth was so our top didn't stick to our chest....I don't know....but I remember we hated the Vick's treatment and would cry when she would do it. We would walk around holding our top away from our chest so nothing stuck to our chest. Then we would go to bed and she would make us sleep under the vaporizer (now you've got your front and back stuck to the jammies...yuck).....oh! and for good measure she would put a dab of Vick's under our nose to open up our sinuses.....ugh.
Then when Nyquil came out and we were old enough to take it, she would give us a dose of Nyquil before going to bed. It has ruined me for life. I can't even look at the bottle, read the name or write it without my stomach flinching! Absolutely hate that stuff and will not take it even today.....I am sure it is one notch below a shot of whiskey......or poison or something.....AAAAUUUUUUGH!
My mom's yucky medicine treatments she did to us - I mean for us (LOL)- was done out of her love for us and the responsibility she took in making sure we got well. We did not like the Vick's treatment one bit and I certainly don't like Nyquil but the measures my mom took to treat us did work and made us well.
I would have to say I view the last few months of my life as a little bit of "yucky" medicine from the Lord. Unemployment....scary....worry for my child's emotional being......even more scary......but God has used this "yucky medicine" to grow and, yes, heal me in a whole new way. Let me tell you how Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes" and Jeremiah 29:11, my personal mantra, life verse, whatever you want to call it......"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a future and a hope" have been revealed to me in yet another way....God's word is so amazing.
Substitute teaching....I have several teacher friends. They introduced me to their teacher friends and since I have started subbing I have consistently averaged at least two subbing jobs a week, sometimes three. Just last week, I had nothing on my calendar and by Monday morning, I had three teaching jobs for the week. That is God, my friends.
I have had most of my jobs in the jr. high and honestly - I was scared to teach jr. high because I thought they would eat me alive. How wrong I have been. I love jr. high kids. They have brought me joy and laughter each time I have subbed for them.
Ex: 1 I wore this really retro 60's outfit to school one day. R. came into class, sat on the front and critiqued my outfit out loud. I received a "you've got style, Ms. Jaye." Thanks R!
Ex: 2 One of the kids had a birthday and the mom brought cupcakes for the class. Another kid, 8th grader, came in and said, "How come he gets cupcakes..." and proceeded to whine about it. I said, "E., it is G's b-day. Have your mom bring cupcakes for you on your birthday." He replied, "I don't have a mom." Oh. We had a conversation about his mom dying of cancer and Kade dying of his disease. I told him I would bring him a cake for his b-day. Everytime, I have subbed he has come up to me and said, "Ms. Jaye, you don't have to make me a cake." I said, "I know, but I want to." Finally, on Monday, he came up one more time and said, "Ms. Jaye, you really don't have to make me a cake." His birthday is this week. I said again, "I know, but I am." Then he said, "Okay, are you going to make it round or long? Make it round so I can take it home and share with my dad." He wanted it chocolate w/chocolate. I got up yesterday morning, made his cake and delivered it to school. He wouldn't share with anyone and held onto it. I loved doing that for him.
The assistant principal told me there were only 545 more students in the school. If word gets out, I am in trouble....LOL
Ex.3: I subbed for one class the other day and they were not behaving too well. One girl said, "This isn't going well is it?" I replied no. J. looked at me and said, "Ms. Jaye are you going to write our names down?" If you give their names to the teacher there are consequences....like essay writing....I said, "J. that is a great idea! I think I will do that!" He looked at me and said, "Ms. J, if you do that our friendship is over." I laughed and said, "I'm sorry." Later on he came in and said, "Best friend, what time is it." He cracks me up.
Ex.4: C.....oh my goodness....everytime I look at this boy I am reminded of Kade. I just want to squeeze this child. I finally told him the other day he reminded me of my son and I just wanted to hug him but I assured him I would restrain myself. He smiled and although he has always been good for me, he has taken it upon himself to look out for me and call kids down if they get out of line.
I tell you these stories because if I hadn't been forced to seek out alternative means of employment opportunities, I would have never subbed and discovered - no rediscovered - my love for teaching. I have so rediscovered this love that when I graduate in JUNE 2009 -YEEHAW! - I am taking the Praxis exam to enter the alternative teaching certification program so that I can teach school. When school (college) is done for me, I will basically be getting two degrees at the same time - Social services and teaching....
Ministry. My heart and passion is for ministry. The past few months, because of my lighter schedule, I have had opportunity to really throw myself into children's and women's ministry. I am teaching children's church each Sunday and having time to plan really fun events which I love! Women's ministry has been revived because I have had time to spend on it. I am getting to do all the fun things I really, really love doing.
So, what started out as "yucky spiritual medicine" in my eyes has been the best thing for me. The Lord has proved faithful in providing for me each step of the way. Okay, I know that you know that we all know that He will do what He says - but there is a huge difference in having the head knowledge and living it out first hand. So instead of writing my tithe check out in trepidation and thinking, "I can't afford this....", tithing has become sort of a game between the Lord and I. I hand it over and He smiles and says, "Watch this, my love." I don't have the job security (really, who does) to see how the money will be there, I just have the confidence of knowing my Lord will provide.....Great is His Faithfulness. So another spiritual muscle of mine is developing and going through the toning process.
I am at the most happy place I have ever been.....it isn't the medicine...which I am sure has helped, it is knowing in a whole new way that I am truly in the hand of my Father, the lover of my soul, my provider, my Prince of peace...Gone is the worry of finances. My father owns the cattle of a thousand hills, is immensely rich and loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that the yucky medicine Dad allowed in my life has been out of his absolute love for me and that His purpose has been to show me a new side of Him I didn't know - to prosper me spiritually. His desire for me is that I KNOW Him......really, really KNOW Him. So I close.....
Living securely in my Daddy's arms,
Ms. Jaye
With that first sneeze and sniffle, after taking our bath and before tucking us in for the night, Mom would have the sick child stand before her and she would "grease" that child's chest and neck with Vick's and then have her (the sick one) turn around and Mom would "grease" the back. Then Mom would have us put on our pajama top, the kind that had the snaps around the waist.....some of you will remember those jammies.....the bottoms had feet in them and the top snapped down the back and attached to the bottoms with snaps around the waist. After we got the top on she would then pin a washcloth to the inside front of the pajamas and snap us all in. I guess the washcloth was so our top didn't stick to our chest....I don't know....but I remember we hated the Vick's treatment and would cry when she would do it. We would walk around holding our top away from our chest so nothing stuck to our chest. Then we would go to bed and she would make us sleep under the vaporizer (now you've got your front and back stuck to the jammies...yuck).....oh! and for good measure she would put a dab of Vick's under our nose to open up our sinuses.....ugh.
Then when Nyquil came out and we were old enough to take it, she would give us a dose of Nyquil before going to bed. It has ruined me for life. I can't even look at the bottle, read the name or write it without my stomach flinching! Absolutely hate that stuff and will not take it even today.....I am sure it is one notch below a shot of whiskey......or poison or something.....AAAAUUUUUUGH!
My mom's yucky medicine treatments she did to us - I mean for us (LOL)- was done out of her love for us and the responsibility she took in making sure we got well. We did not like the Vick's treatment one bit and I certainly don't like Nyquil but the measures my mom took to treat us did work and made us well.
I would have to say I view the last few months of my life as a little bit of "yucky" medicine from the Lord. Unemployment....scary....worry for my child's emotional being......even more scary......but God has used this "yucky medicine" to grow and, yes, heal me in a whole new way. Let me tell you how Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes" and Jeremiah 29:11, my personal mantra, life verse, whatever you want to call it......"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a future and a hope" have been revealed to me in yet another way....God's word is so amazing.
Substitute teaching....I have several teacher friends. They introduced me to their teacher friends and since I have started subbing I have consistently averaged at least two subbing jobs a week, sometimes three. Just last week, I had nothing on my calendar and by Monday morning, I had three teaching jobs for the week. That is God, my friends.
I have had most of my jobs in the jr. high and honestly - I was scared to teach jr. high because I thought they would eat me alive. How wrong I have been. I love jr. high kids. They have brought me joy and laughter each time I have subbed for them.
Ex: 1 I wore this really retro 60's outfit to school one day. R. came into class, sat on the front and critiqued my outfit out loud. I received a "you've got style, Ms. Jaye." Thanks R!
Ex: 2 One of the kids had a birthday and the mom brought cupcakes for the class. Another kid, 8th grader, came in and said, "How come he gets cupcakes..." and proceeded to whine about it. I said, "E., it is G's b-day. Have your mom bring cupcakes for you on your birthday." He replied, "I don't have a mom." Oh. We had a conversation about his mom dying of cancer and Kade dying of his disease. I told him I would bring him a cake for his b-day. Everytime, I have subbed he has come up to me and said, "Ms. Jaye, you don't have to make me a cake." I said, "I know, but I want to." Finally, on Monday, he came up one more time and said, "Ms. Jaye, you really don't have to make me a cake." His birthday is this week. I said again, "I know, but I am." Then he said, "Okay, are you going to make it round or long? Make it round so I can take it home and share with my dad." He wanted it chocolate w/chocolate. I got up yesterday morning, made his cake and delivered it to school. He wouldn't share with anyone and held onto it. I loved doing that for him.
The assistant principal told me there were only 545 more students in the school. If word gets out, I am in trouble....LOL
Ex.3: I subbed for one class the other day and they were not behaving too well. One girl said, "This isn't going well is it?" I replied no. J. looked at me and said, "Ms. Jaye are you going to write our names down?" If you give their names to the teacher there are consequences....like essay writing....I said, "J. that is a great idea! I think I will do that!" He looked at me and said, "Ms. J, if you do that our friendship is over." I laughed and said, "I'm sorry." Later on he came in and said, "Best friend, what time is it." He cracks me up.
Ex.4: C.....oh my goodness....everytime I look at this boy I am reminded of Kade. I just want to squeeze this child. I finally told him the other day he reminded me of my son and I just wanted to hug him but I assured him I would restrain myself. He smiled and although he has always been good for me, he has taken it upon himself to look out for me and call kids down if they get out of line.
I tell you these stories because if I hadn't been forced to seek out alternative means of employment opportunities, I would have never subbed and discovered - no rediscovered - my love for teaching. I have so rediscovered this love that when I graduate in JUNE 2009 -YEEHAW! - I am taking the Praxis exam to enter the alternative teaching certification program so that I can teach school. When school (college) is done for me, I will basically be getting two degrees at the same time - Social services and teaching....
Ministry. My heart and passion is for ministry. The past few months, because of my lighter schedule, I have had opportunity to really throw myself into children's and women's ministry. I am teaching children's church each Sunday and having time to plan really fun events which I love! Women's ministry has been revived because I have had time to spend on it. I am getting to do all the fun things I really, really love doing.
So, what started out as "yucky spiritual medicine" in my eyes has been the best thing for me. The Lord has proved faithful in providing for me each step of the way. Okay, I know that you know that we all know that He will do what He says - but there is a huge difference in having the head knowledge and living it out first hand. So instead of writing my tithe check out in trepidation and thinking, "I can't afford this....", tithing has become sort of a game between the Lord and I. I hand it over and He smiles and says, "Watch this, my love." I don't have the job security (really, who does) to see how the money will be there, I just have the confidence of knowing my Lord will provide.....Great is His Faithfulness. So another spiritual muscle of mine is developing and going through the toning process.
I am at the most happy place I have ever been.....it isn't the medicine...which I am sure has helped, it is knowing in a whole new way that I am truly in the hand of my Father, the lover of my soul, my provider, my Prince of peace...Gone is the worry of finances. My father owns the cattle of a thousand hills, is immensely rich and loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that the yucky medicine Dad allowed in my life has been out of his absolute love for me and that His purpose has been to show me a new side of Him I didn't know - to prosper me spiritually. His desire for me is that I KNOW Him......really, really KNOW Him. So I close.....
Living securely in my Daddy's arms,
Ms. Jaye
The Ash Heap cont'd.
I have left you hanging for a while, huh? For those of you wondering what may have happened with the ash heap I will fill you in.....if I can remember. LOL. I really should follow myself fast because I can't even keep up!!! LOL
The ash heap. I left the ladies retreat still sad and unsure of what to do. A few days later I received an email from my estranged son and knew emotionally he was not in a good place. Okay, put me aside, I thought, and focus on the boy child. Now I am not only dealing with my stuff but I have added the concern for my child. I don't cry "uncle" very well but finally I did and made an appointment with a doctor.
I have had some pretty yucky things happen and have been able to deal with them without medication but this time I couldn't. After visiting with the doctor and telling a brief sypnosis about my life the last five years, he prescribed an antidepressant. He said, "Jaye, you have had a lot of trauma the last few years and I am quite sure your serotonin levels are totally out of whack....." Yeah.....you are probably right. Nevertheless, I felt like a failure for not being able to just let God handle me but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was.
I then began to focus on how to support myself during this unemployment time. Substitute teaching, working for my friend's company some and doing children and women's ministry at my church......
I am going to end the post here because I have a lot to say about that....
Life started to look up......
The ash heap. I left the ladies retreat still sad and unsure of what to do. A few days later I received an email from my estranged son and knew emotionally he was not in a good place. Okay, put me aside, I thought, and focus on the boy child. Now I am not only dealing with my stuff but I have added the concern for my child. I don't cry "uncle" very well but finally I did and made an appointment with a doctor.
I have had some pretty yucky things happen and have been able to deal with them without medication but this time I couldn't. After visiting with the doctor and telling a brief sypnosis about my life the last five years, he prescribed an antidepressant. He said, "Jaye, you have had a lot of trauma the last few years and I am quite sure your serotonin levels are totally out of whack....." Yeah.....you are probably right. Nevertheless, I felt like a failure for not being able to just let God handle me but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was.
I then began to focus on how to support myself during this unemployment time. Substitute teaching, working for my friend's company some and doing children and women's ministry at my church......
I am going to end the post here because I have a lot to say about that....
Life started to look up......
Friday, October 10, 2008
climbing out of the ash heap
I really hate crashing and burning.....and while it is good to climb out of the ash heap, I don't really enjoy that either because I am faced with the shame and guilt of wondering how I let my faith in God so completely diminish. hmmmmmm......the disciple Peter is so my brother.
In my post,"God, I am mad at you!", I ended it by saying I went to a ladies retreat. I think I will tell you about it. All week I had been reeling downward to the crash and burn pile.....and landed Friday. The last thing I wanted to do was be happy and socialize with a bunch of hyped up, excited Christian women but my friend said I was going. So I went.
Those that know me well know that Christian music is the key to my soul. God speaks to me through song so, so many times. As the music began, my heart hardened against every word sung. I sat in the back, arms crossed, face set hard ......my body language spoke it all....."God, you are not getting in my heart tonight. I am not listening to you!" I left as soon as the session was over. I am usually Ms. Sunshine and laughter and fun......the label "bubbly" has been attached to me many times. Not this night. My friends prayed for me but my heart would not hear or receive.
The next morning as we began the session with music, I found myself a little more open to hearing the words.....the music was really, really good.....I at least could admit that in my mad at God heart. I really felt God coaxing me to listen.....you know like when your husband or friend knows you are mad and they gently try coaxing a smile out of you....during the song "Your Love Oh Lord" (Third Day,)I felt God almost whispering, "Jaye, here is one of your favorite songs....listen...I put this one on LeAnna's heart just for you sweetie...." but in my petulant, childish temperfit mood, I inwardly turned my back and crossed my arms and said, "No...I don't want to listen." Then came the speaker.
Whether I wanted to listen or not, I heard and I could relate to this woman. At the end of her session she asked if anyone needed prayer and if so to stand and the ladies would pray over them. I couldn't do it. If I did I knew I would fall in a heap and not just cry but WAIL and sob. No thank you. No way was I going to make myself THAT vulnerable. As I sat in the very back, hunched over, the tears fell uncontrollably as I smothered and choked back the sobs.
My friend and I went out in the woods and she just let me vent.....again. Her heart was so burdened for me....powerless to put the joy back in my heart and face....she prayed.
The evening session came and at the end of this session, the speaker asked everyone to put whatever we needed to lay at the cross, at the cross. We were to write on a piece of paper and lay it at the foot of the cross. Prior to doing that she had prayed for God to reveal to each of us something separating us from Him. Um....ouch...the words "control and pride" slipped past the coldness of my heart. Control.....oh yeah...I am a control freak in ways. Then it hit me.
I have gone through a heap of crap in the last few years but I had steady money through all of it. Now I am at the most vulnerable I have ever been....the last vestige of being in control, taking care of me financially had been stripped away....as long as I can control the things in my life.....I don't get hurt. I realized I had trusted God with most everything but I could not 100% totally let go and let God be in control of every aspect of my life, especially finances. This layer on my heart was tightly bound. Jaye takes care of Jaye....or does she? I can't let this go....I don't know how to let this go..... I wrote the words "control and pride" on my paper and laid it at the cross (physically), ....I am not sure I can do it spiritually....my carnal self and spiritual self are now at war......now aint' that just a bucket of happy? You know I am absolutely kidding about that.
to be continued....
In my post,"God, I am mad at you!", I ended it by saying I went to a ladies retreat. I think I will tell you about it. All week I had been reeling downward to the crash and burn pile.....and landed Friday. The last thing I wanted to do was be happy and socialize with a bunch of hyped up, excited Christian women but my friend said I was going. So I went.
Those that know me well know that Christian music is the key to my soul. God speaks to me through song so, so many times. As the music began, my heart hardened against every word sung. I sat in the back, arms crossed, face set hard ......my body language spoke it all....."God, you are not getting in my heart tonight. I am not listening to you!" I left as soon as the session was over. I am usually Ms. Sunshine and laughter and fun......the label "bubbly" has been attached to me many times. Not this night. My friends prayed for me but my heart would not hear or receive.
The next morning as we began the session with music, I found myself a little more open to hearing the words.....the music was really, really good.....I at least could admit that in my mad at God heart. I really felt God coaxing me to listen.....you know like when your husband or friend knows you are mad and they gently try coaxing a smile out of you....during the song "Your Love Oh Lord" (Third Day,)I felt God almost whispering, "Jaye, here is one of your favorite songs....listen...I put this one on LeAnna's heart just for you sweetie...." but in my petulant, childish temperfit mood, I inwardly turned my back and crossed my arms and said, "No...I don't want to listen." Then came the speaker.
Whether I wanted to listen or not, I heard and I could relate to this woman. At the end of her session she asked if anyone needed prayer and if so to stand and the ladies would pray over them. I couldn't do it. If I did I knew I would fall in a heap and not just cry but WAIL and sob. No thank you. No way was I going to make myself THAT vulnerable. As I sat in the very back, hunched over, the tears fell uncontrollably as I smothered and choked back the sobs.
My friend and I went out in the woods and she just let me vent.....again. Her heart was so burdened for me....powerless to put the joy back in my heart and face....she prayed.
The evening session came and at the end of this session, the speaker asked everyone to put whatever we needed to lay at the cross, at the cross. We were to write on a piece of paper and lay it at the foot of the cross. Prior to doing that she had prayed for God to reveal to each of us something separating us from Him. Um....ouch...the words "control and pride" slipped past the coldness of my heart. Control.....oh yeah...I am a control freak in ways. Then it hit me.
I have gone through a heap of crap in the last few years but I had steady money through all of it. Now I am at the most vulnerable I have ever been....the last vestige of being in control, taking care of me financially had been stripped away....as long as I can control the things in my life.....I don't get hurt. I realized I had trusted God with most everything but I could not 100% totally let go and let God be in control of every aspect of my life, especially finances. This layer on my heart was tightly bound. Jaye takes care of Jaye....or does she? I can't let this go....I don't know how to let this go..... I wrote the words "control and pride" on my paper and laid it at the cross (physically), ....I am not sure I can do it spiritually....my carnal self and spiritual self are now at war......now aint' that just a bucket of happy? You know I am absolutely kidding about that.
to be continued....
Thursday, October 9, 2008
my mask
I have found this really great makeup. I can cry and the tears rolls down my cheeks without leaving a path of streaks where they have passed. This makeup is called "Cover Girl" and boy is it doing its' job. Then I have this mascara......Max Factor Volume XX.....waterproof....and it is. I can cry my eyes out and have absolutely no black rivulets of tears on my cheeks. The eyeliner, MaryKay charcoal, does a pretty fine job of staying where it has been applied. This mask is working very well....on the outside at least.
I have been wearing this mask for quite some time. I cry on my way to work and dab the tears away before I exit my car or I cry on my way to church and dab the tears away as I shut my car door. I enter the building and put on my smile. Someone asks me, "How's it going?" and I smile and say brightly, "It's good!" Liar. But you don't know that and we part ways doing our own Sunday morning thing.
You don't know and I won't take the mask off and let you know that I am freaking out inside. I am scared. I don't know what is going to happen to or for me. I can't see the future and I honestly don't know what to do. So i am frozen inside but I keep getting up each morning and put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I am so paralyzed inside I can do nothing......but i must...because.....I must.....
I know in my head God is out there somewhere and all of the knowledge surrounds me but somehow is not penetrating my very being. So.....I will keep wearing my mask and when you ask me how it's going, I will say....I will swallow hard and blink back the tears and say, "It's good.....how about you?"
I have been wearing this mask for quite some time. I cry on my way to work and dab the tears away before I exit my car or I cry on my way to church and dab the tears away as I shut my car door. I enter the building and put on my smile. Someone asks me, "How's it going?" and I smile and say brightly, "It's good!" Liar. But you don't know that and we part ways doing our own Sunday morning thing.
You don't know and I won't take the mask off and let you know that I am freaking out inside. I am scared. I don't know what is going to happen to or for me. I can't see the future and I honestly don't know what to do. So i am frozen inside but I keep getting up each morning and put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I am so paralyzed inside I can do nothing......but i must...because.....I must.....
I know in my head God is out there somewhere and all of the knowledge surrounds me but somehow is not penetrating my very being. So.....I will keep wearing my mask and when you ask me how it's going, I will say....I will swallow hard and blink back the tears and say, "It's good.....how about you?"
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