In my last post I ended with "I find that I am living in a place most people rarely get to inhabit. No - they get to inhabit - but don't enjoy it. Not Pagosa - the life of unemployment. I am sure many would say, "We'll let you take this one for the team, Jaye." ..... Let's talk about that...
Unemployment has been the absolute best thing in the world for me. Really. I am serious. I may say that I trust God but when the things that are most important to me and the things I rely upon are taken away from me - that is when the real truth comes out. Do I (we) really believe God is sufficient for EVERYTHING? Do I (we) really believe that He is going to come through for me (us)? Is He really going to provide for my (our) every need without my help...my job skills...my bank account? Let me tell you - when hard times come, this is when the rubber meets the road in my (our) faith walk, don't you think?
Unemployment and Project Delight is making me a much more disciplined person in a variety of ways. For instance, this morning, I made myself a budget. I know. I don't hardly have any money and most of what I do have is "faith-based." I laugh as a write that because I substitute teach...you know ...the whole "separation of church and state" thing....yeah right. Anyway, projecting in faith of what I think I will have, I made a budget. I even thought I would challenge myself further and budgeted a tithe. And wrote out the check which I will put in the offering plate on Sunday. Should have been doing it all along but I got....skeered... about trusting my Dad.
But here's the deal. I don't know what God has in store for my income. So far, the substitute teaching is averaging out very well. Listen to this: Last week, on Sunday night, I had one job on the calendar for the week. (I just live by the week.) Okay, so I was going to have an easy week. No worries. Gave me more time to work on Harvest Fest.
8:10 Wednesday, just settled in with coffee and bible and my phone rings. Ms. Gorman, freshman algebra teacher. She has a migraine and needs a sub. Could I come in. Sure!
Friday morning, 6:50 a.m. phone rings. I knew it was a sub call but I really needed to write a paper. Ignored phone. Felt guilty. Called back and took the job. You know if you don't take the jobs offered they might not call you back! There was my 3 day a week average! The words from Psalms 37..."Wait patiently. Trust in the Lord." ring so true. And I don't worry about what is or is not on the calendar! Nor do I worry about what happens after May 31st. Someday, I will have a job and it will be perfect and in God's perfect time.
I believe with all my heart, my Father, Daddy, has me in His blessed hands. Every need and sometimes my wants are met. I am not suffering in the least. My faith trust base is being strengthened - one more time. I know my family wonders sometimes why things are hard for me and why doesn't God let me catch a break and live easy but I am glad that He hasn't. I would miss so much of Him if that happened. I hope during this time I am becoming wiser. I know that I am the happiest I have ever been. I laugh all the time and I rarely get bent out of shape over things and if I do - it is short-lived. Why waste precious energy on .... stupid?
I don't know where this trail leads and I am content to walk along each day just taking in today. So, you guys out there, I will gladly take one for the team in unemployment. It's the best thing that's happened to me and honestly....I am sorry you missed it!