Let's see...last night at 11:49 p.m. I posted my Humanities final...woohoo! I am done with that class. Now for biology...actually...I have kind of enjoyed that class. I have some rather dippy test grades - 59...103...78...every other test I have had some crazy schedule like taking the Praxis and almost being brain dead and then spending 34 hours in 3 days on the road getting to my daughter's baby shower. (Totally worth the grade sacrifice!) Great testing set up. Driving and studying is less than productive and promotes hazardous driving.
In three days I will take my final biology test and be done with the class. That leaves...University of Phoenix. As of tomorrow I have two weeks and one day left to finish the class and GRADUATE!!! What a summer!
I mentioned the Praxis....remember the test I took earlier this summer? I PASSED IT!!! So I have an endorsement to teach Middleschool Language Arts but since I didn't get the job...oh well...
I am exhausted and overwhelmed beyond belief. Along with trying to study and write papers, I have been looking for jobs. I have applied in Durango, Bayfield, Ignacio, and will apply for a job here in Pagosa tomorrow. I have an interview (tomorrow/Monday) in Ignacio as a headstart teacher. Not really what I want to do but sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to get to do what you want to do.
I am scared. I know that God promises to take care of me but there sure seem to be a lot of "no's" lately. Sometimes I see Chris the homeless guy downtown and I think of other homeless people and I wonder at what point did they just say "I give up. This is too hard" and they just quit. I don't know the answer to that but I do know that whatever it is that snapped inside of them doesn't seem to exist in me. No matter how hard things are I can't just throw up my hands and give up.
I have prayed and my prayers have had phrases such as "....tired of being the poster child for faith....", "...is there really a job for me out there?..." "Have I persevered these past three years in order to still not get a job?"....the competitions stiff and I am inexperienced..."Lord, I need an open door." Actually, the day I found out I passed the Praxis exam, I had prayed for a glimmer of hope. I was almost sick as I opened up the website to find out and then it didn't say. I spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to find someone who could tell me whether I passed. I was deliriously happy when I was told I had passed the exam. My glimmer of hope.
Please continue to pray for me.
1. Pray for me to have wisdom to know what to do.
2. I want to get into the teaching field but I need a miracle from God for that to happen.
3. More than anything I want some stability. I want a steady job with a steady paycheck.
4. Pray for me to have renewed hope. My hope thread is pretty thin.
PS I have a beauty tip warning for you. Do not try to massage the cellulite off of your body. It just bruises you and makes you look like somebody beat you up. Seriously...and it doesn't help the cellulite go away.
Jaye P.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Power Living
Well Team,
I didn't make the cut - as in- I didn't get the position at the Jr. High I was hoping to get. As for the test - well - I am still waiting - two more weeks. So how am I doing? Great!
Seriously....okay - last night I did cry and feel sorry for myself and wanted to go to Sonic for a Banana Cream Pie shake or chocolate malt but that would have busted my 20 lbs in 20 days goal (saw that in the paper this week-really I did- and I have created my own plan to get there but we won't get on that subject) - Back to crying and feeling sorry for myself -that would be the Jaye thing to do - first - until I got a grip. Actually, I didn't even cry that much. Must be getting tough.....or experienced with these sharp left and right turns God guides me through....LOL.....Went to bed with Scarlett O-Hara's words on my lips, "Tomorrah is anothuh day." And it is.
I got up this morning, made coffee, went out on the patio to sit in my hammock swing to contemplate my future. As I sat there staring out over the lake and at the mountains, the Lord directed my thoughts to David and Goliath. Funny place to venture huh? I opened my bible to I Samuel 17 and read this story and let the Lord speak to my heart. Have ya'll read this story lately? Good, because I am going to tell it to you the way God spoke it to me today.
David has gone out to the valley of Elah to bring food to his brothers and bring back news to his father over how the boys are doing. When David gets there, there is this stand off between the Israelies and the Philistine army. Goliath is taunting the Israelites and David hears it and sees the Israelites flee and run from the giant as he throws his taunts. David is puzzled by this and asks the men:
Verse 26: "What is going to happen to the person who kills this Philistine and take the reproach from Israel? And furthermore (my words), who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should taunt the armies of the Living God?" In other words, what are you going to do about it?
David's brother Eliab gets angry at David for coming to the battlefield. (Not sure why - he doesn't have very nice words for David but it is evident he doesn't want David down there) and I love David's words.
Verse 29: "What have I done now? Was it not just a question?" (Does that sound like a little brother or what?)
Then David volunteers to go fight the giant. Saul tells him, "You are just a kid. How can you possibly fight a giant who has been trained for battle since his youth?"
Still David is not deterred. In fact, David utters these powerful words: "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." David is basically saying to Saul and the Israelites, "Don't you know the God you serve? No one but no one taunts our God and with the help of the Lord I am going to prove it to you."
David is just a kid but he is a kid who knows who his God is - totally. And he is not afraid of facing the giant because of the knowledge and revelation he possesses. This is power living! Or as pastor Dan says, "Living in High Definition" The next part is even better....
Saul tries to outfit David with armor,helmet and sword but it doesn't work for David. He isn't used to it and honestly, he doesn't need it. He is going out to battle in the strength and might of the Lord. He tells Saul, "Thanks, but no thanks." And he marches onto the battlefield. Goliath and David start walking toward each other and as Goliath nears, he realizes David is just a kid and is disgusted by the fact. David gets close to the Philistine and I can just see him stopping, planting his feet and shouting out to Goliath:
Verse 45-47: "You come to me with sword, spear and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. And I will give the dead bodies of the army of the Philistines this day to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord's and He will give you into our hands."
Ummm....fighting words for sure....and Goliath rises and came and drew near to David - but DAVID ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine! This is so awesome! David runs to meet the challenge! No weak-kneed, timid entry for him - just go for it! just do it! And - what is even better is that he doesn't fumble in his bag for a stone and nervously put it in the sling hoping for the best - David confidently reaches in, grabs the stone, positions it in the sling and slings it at the giant and nails him in the forehead and kills him. Then just for good measure and to make his words true, David uses Goliath's sword to cut the giant's head off and brought the head to Saul. Wow! This passage shouts power and confidence!
So - what did this say to me in my situation today? I am going to be like young David. I know the God I serve and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I can walk in confidence in the power and might of His name. I don't have to fumble around for a bag of tricks I am hoping will work. The Lord's aim and direction is true even if it looks a little crazy to me.
I spent the last 5 months of the school year doing something I absolutely loved and I believe God directed me there. Getting to teach was just another step in the journey of life of directing me where I need to go.
The older I get the more I realize that life is a journey. I have said those words before but I am still learning to believe them. I will probably never stand on top of a mountain and plant my flag and say I have arrived - Please God - I hope I never do. My life journey may be like a butterfly - to flutter here and there - rest awhile - leave a mark on a life and/or take the mark someone embellishes me with and move on to the next adventure. However -whatever my life looks like, I want it to be a power-living, power-walking life like David. To walk forward in confidence, running to meet the challenge head held high and smiling and nailing the lesson or challenge thrown before me. Now that is Power - Living!
I didn't make the cut - as in- I didn't get the position at the Jr. High I was hoping to get. As for the test - well - I am still waiting - two more weeks. So how am I doing? Great!
Seriously....okay - last night I did cry and feel sorry for myself and wanted to go to Sonic for a Banana Cream Pie shake or chocolate malt but that would have busted my 20 lbs in 20 days goal (saw that in the paper this week-really I did- and I have created my own plan to get there but we won't get on that subject) - Back to crying and feeling sorry for myself -that would be the Jaye thing to do - first - until I got a grip. Actually, I didn't even cry that much. Must be getting tough.....or experienced with these sharp left and right turns God guides me through....LOL.....Went to bed with Scarlett O-Hara's words on my lips, "Tomorrah is anothuh day." And it is.
I got up this morning, made coffee, went out on the patio to sit in my hammock swing to contemplate my future. As I sat there staring out over the lake and at the mountains, the Lord directed my thoughts to David and Goliath. Funny place to venture huh? I opened my bible to I Samuel 17 and read this story and let the Lord speak to my heart. Have ya'll read this story lately? Good, because I am going to tell it to you the way God spoke it to me today.
David has gone out to the valley of Elah to bring food to his brothers and bring back news to his father over how the boys are doing. When David gets there, there is this stand off between the Israelies and the Philistine army. Goliath is taunting the Israelites and David hears it and sees the Israelites flee and run from the giant as he throws his taunts. David is puzzled by this and asks the men:
Verse 26: "What is going to happen to the person who kills this Philistine and take the reproach from Israel? And furthermore (my words), who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should taunt the armies of the Living God?" In other words, what are you going to do about it?
David's brother Eliab gets angry at David for coming to the battlefield. (Not sure why - he doesn't have very nice words for David but it is evident he doesn't want David down there) and I love David's words.
Verse 29: "What have I done now? Was it not just a question?" (Does that sound like a little brother or what?)
Then David volunteers to go fight the giant. Saul tells him, "You are just a kid. How can you possibly fight a giant who has been trained for battle since his youth?"
Still David is not deterred. In fact, David utters these powerful words: "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." David is basically saying to Saul and the Israelites, "Don't you know the God you serve? No one but no one taunts our God and with the help of the Lord I am going to prove it to you."
David is just a kid but he is a kid who knows who his God is - totally. And he is not afraid of facing the giant because of the knowledge and revelation he possesses. This is power living! Or as pastor Dan says, "Living in High Definition" The next part is even better....
Saul tries to outfit David with armor,helmet and sword but it doesn't work for David. He isn't used to it and honestly, he doesn't need it. He is going out to battle in the strength and might of the Lord. He tells Saul, "Thanks, but no thanks." And he marches onto the battlefield. Goliath and David start walking toward each other and as Goliath nears, he realizes David is just a kid and is disgusted by the fact. David gets close to the Philistine and I can just see him stopping, planting his feet and shouting out to Goliath:
Verse 45-47: "You come to me with sword, spear and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. And I will give the dead bodies of the army of the Philistines this day to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord's and He will give you into our hands."
Ummm....fighting words for sure....and Goliath rises and came and drew near to David - but DAVID ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine! This is so awesome! David runs to meet the challenge! No weak-kneed, timid entry for him - just go for it! just do it! And - what is even better is that he doesn't fumble in his bag for a stone and nervously put it in the sling hoping for the best - David confidently reaches in, grabs the stone, positions it in the sling and slings it at the giant and nails him in the forehead and kills him. Then just for good measure and to make his words true, David uses Goliath's sword to cut the giant's head off and brought the head to Saul. Wow! This passage shouts power and confidence!
So - what did this say to me in my situation today? I am going to be like young David. I know the God I serve and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I can walk in confidence in the power and might of His name. I don't have to fumble around for a bag of tricks I am hoping will work. The Lord's aim and direction is true even if it looks a little crazy to me.
I spent the last 5 months of the school year doing something I absolutely loved and I believe God directed me there. Getting to teach was just another step in the journey of life of directing me where I need to go.
The older I get the more I realize that life is a journey. I have said those words before but I am still learning to believe them. I will probably never stand on top of a mountain and plant my flag and say I have arrived - Please God - I hope I never do. My life journey may be like a butterfly - to flutter here and there - rest awhile - leave a mark on a life and/or take the mark someone embellishes me with and move on to the next adventure. However -whatever my life looks like, I want it to be a power-living, power-walking life like David. To walk forward in confidence, running to meet the challenge head held high and smiling and nailing the lesson or challenge thrown before me. Now that is Power - Living!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Living Life Backwards
I would rather write about my adventures than study.....I think I am burning out on the studies....how much can you stuff into your brain?
Let me tell you about biology. First off, I am enjoying it about as much as I did in High School....not much. organelles, mytosis, ribosomes, chromosomes.......today we had to look at slides under a microscope and identify and draw what we saw of the stages of cell division in a plant and animal cell....I finally conceded to being slide challenged and called the instructor over. My description of the slide was like this:
"It looks like corn on the cob with this little dark kernel looking thing..." The instructor stopped, looked at me, and with a quizzical expression said, "I don't believe I have ever heard it described like that...." Then she told me what I was looking for and told me I could just copy it out of the book. biology lab is going to be great.... 7 weeks and counting...
Humanities - love that class and the instructor is a riot. She has this very dry sense of humor and makes me laugh all the time. I would tell you some of the things she says but you just have to be there to get it....the subject? lots of stuff....my favorite so far is the story about the little child born in a corn field and raised by corn.....see - you have to be there.....
Hostel life .....rocks! Seriously! I would do it again. Smelly roommate left yesterday and amino acid recovery lady will be there through next week. She is really nice but I realized very quickly she values sleep. I kept getting text messages the first night after we went to bed. I turned my volume off or at least to vibrate. The next morning she says, "You were on the phone late and a lot last night." I said, "You heard me texting?" She replied, "I have a hard time sleeping...." point taken. Turned the phone off last night.
There are new people there all the time. Two guys from Sweden were making their way across the United States; college engineering and aerospace grad from Univ. of Arizona chillin' out and rock climbing for the week; a team of college students working for the forestry service for the summer travelling across Colorado; just a conglomeration of people...it is very interesting....at night some of them get together on the guitars and jam, toke a little dope...just kidding....drugs are not allowed......thought I would throw that in there since it is such a part of the hippy life....
Co-ed bathrooms - no big deal. It's not like camp and everybody is on the same schedule getting ready. I think I only encountered two males in the bathroom....the shaving guy and some guy yesterday taking a shower. (I went back and read that and it sounds a little risque but it wasn't....he did sing in the shower though...happy little guy...) I know it sounds wild and crazy but it really isn't. The showers and bathroom stalls all lock and are totally enclosed....the shower stalls have a changing area within the locked stall....no big deal.....
Had the marriage, had the kids now living the financially challenged, white, female, single college life.....I am living life backward and loving it!
I have to be a responsible college student and study...My new boyfriend Praxis is calling my name...
Let me tell you about biology. First off, I am enjoying it about as much as I did in High School....not much. organelles, mytosis, ribosomes, chromosomes.......today we had to look at slides under a microscope and identify and draw what we saw of the stages of cell division in a plant and animal cell....I finally conceded to being slide challenged and called the instructor over. My description of the slide was like this:
"It looks like corn on the cob with this little dark kernel looking thing..." The instructor stopped, looked at me, and with a quizzical expression said, "I don't believe I have ever heard it described like that...." Then she told me what I was looking for and told me I could just copy it out of the book. biology lab is going to be great.... 7 weeks and counting...
Humanities - love that class and the instructor is a riot. She has this very dry sense of humor and makes me laugh all the time. I would tell you some of the things she says but you just have to be there to get it....the subject? lots of stuff....my favorite so far is the story about the little child born in a corn field and raised by corn.....see - you have to be there.....
Hostel life .....rocks! Seriously! I would do it again. Smelly roommate left yesterday and amino acid recovery lady will be there through next week. She is really nice but I realized very quickly she values sleep. I kept getting text messages the first night after we went to bed. I turned my volume off or at least to vibrate. The next morning she says, "You were on the phone late and a lot last night." I said, "You heard me texting?" She replied, "I have a hard time sleeping...." point taken. Turned the phone off last night.
There are new people there all the time. Two guys from Sweden were making their way across the United States; college engineering and aerospace grad from Univ. of Arizona chillin' out and rock climbing for the week; a team of college students working for the forestry service for the summer travelling across Colorado; just a conglomeration of people...it is very interesting....at night some of them get together on the guitars and jam, toke a little dope...just kidding....drugs are not allowed......thought I would throw that in there since it is such a part of the hippy life....
Co-ed bathrooms - no big deal. It's not like camp and everybody is on the same schedule getting ready. I think I only encountered two males in the bathroom....the shaving guy and some guy yesterday taking a shower. (I went back and read that and it sounds a little risque but it wasn't....he did sing in the shower though...happy little guy...) I know it sounds wild and crazy but it really isn't. The showers and bathroom stalls all lock and are totally enclosed....the shower stalls have a changing area within the locked stall....no big deal.....
Had the marriage, had the kids now living the financially challenged, white, female, single college life.....I am living life backward and loving it!
I have to be a responsible college student and study...My new boyfriend Praxis is calling my name...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The princess has gone hippy....
Have I ever mentioned that you should follow me fast? or that I should follow me fast? LOL Heed the advice. I am on my next adventure! I told my mom I am the daughter that has the most adventurous, unexpected life.
The goal is in sight. In EIGHT! Did you hear me? Eight more weeks, I will graduate from the University of Phoenix with a B.S. degree in Healthcare Services/Management! Holy Frijoles! I NEVER thought the day would come! When I started the program in September 2006, the year 2009 seemed light years away...and now I am living in 2009! Now for the adventure part....
I have applied for the 8th grade Language Arts position at Pagosa Springs Jr. High where I spent the last 5 months of my life in a long-term sub position. Oh yeah - adventure...
Although I only have two classes to finish UoP, I have a science and humanities core class requirement to finish as well. So I am enrolled in summer classes at a community college in Durango (an hour away from Pagosa Springs). One class is MWF and the other is Tues/Thurs. THEN, I am taking the Praxis II exam to be certified in Middle School language arts.....kind of important since that is what I am applying to teach. The test is in two weeks - actually a week and a half now. So - I am taking UoP, two classes in Durango and studying for a major certification test - just a bit on overdrive. Adventure -
To make the best use of my time, drive time and study time and gas usage, I decided to stay in Durango for the next couple of weeks. My humanities class will go on-line after next week and I won't need to come everyday - plus I will have taken my Praxis and that pressure will be off. However the additional existing pressure is that I am unemployed and spending money on accommodations is an issue - what to do -
Adventure....
I decided I would live in my car. I can do this for two weeks. I would bring my sleeping bag, book light and clothing. I would park my car at Walmart (they let you park overnight) and in the morning go brush my teeth, comb my hair, and change clothes, put on makeup etc. For computer service I would use the library or the computer lab at Pueblo Community College. For safety, I would borrow my friend's son's 22 pistol he taught me to shoot, and sleep with it. I even thought about trying out the free breakfast bar at one of the hotels - okay - so I am not a guest - but I have always wanted to try that and see if I could get away with it. I know the little scoundrel in me is coming out. For some reason, my friends and family were not cool with this plan.
I just received my tax refund check (God's timing is always perfect!) Now I have some funds to change my plan up. So I decided to stay in a hostel. I have always wanted to try that out. I found one in Durango. Yesterday I checked in. Very nice accommodations but very different...I have joined the hippy lifestyle...
I am sharing a room with two other women. One is here for two weeks in an addiction recovery program. She is having amino acid therapy to replace lost brain cells. I hope it works. Within two minutes of talking with her, she told me there was a hostel in Durango to stay in....ummm newsflash...we are in Durango....in the hostel...as we speak...hmmm....maybe I will go get that padlock for my locker space...LOL....the other woman doesn't believe in deodorant....lovely....however she did take a shower before bedtime. How can you still smell after a shower....oh yeah...natural soap...give me bath and body works any day...my bed is by the window and the window is open...after a while I didn't smell anything.
The hostel is like a house with a lot of house guests of every type. The upstairs living area is equipped with a full-size large kitchen,living area with 3 computers, and a couple of bedrooms. It is very modern and extremely nice.
Oh yeah, bathrooms....Since I am downstairs in the "dorm" we also have co-ed bathroom facilities. Hmmm...this is a new experience as well. There is a private bathroom if you want to use it but only for potty purposes. The tub is under repair so you have to use the co-ed bathroom facilities for a shower. Okay - let me just say that this morning when I got up to use the bathroom and opened the door to the communal bathroom and a man was shaving at the sink....I wasn't sure I was cut out for this lifestyle - BUT - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do - so I smiled, walked past him into the stall and well...you know... LOL
As for costs - $22 a night for a very nice place to stay - you just have to get used to living with people you don't know. Kind of like college life only with an older,(and younger)mixed crowd.
well....must go and study for awhile...I am in turbo study mode...every minute counts.....just needed to blog my thoughts...
Laughing as I type....
Jaye
The goal is in sight. In EIGHT! Did you hear me? Eight more weeks, I will graduate from the University of Phoenix with a B.S. degree in Healthcare Services/Management! Holy Frijoles! I NEVER thought the day would come! When I started the program in September 2006, the year 2009 seemed light years away...and now I am living in 2009! Now for the adventure part....
I have applied for the 8th grade Language Arts position at Pagosa Springs Jr. High where I spent the last 5 months of my life in a long-term sub position. Oh yeah - adventure...
Although I only have two classes to finish UoP, I have a science and humanities core class requirement to finish as well. So I am enrolled in summer classes at a community college in Durango (an hour away from Pagosa Springs). One class is MWF and the other is Tues/Thurs. THEN, I am taking the Praxis II exam to be certified in Middle School language arts.....kind of important since that is what I am applying to teach. The test is in two weeks - actually a week and a half now. So - I am taking UoP, two classes in Durango and studying for a major certification test - just a bit on overdrive. Adventure -
To make the best use of my time, drive time and study time and gas usage, I decided to stay in Durango for the next couple of weeks. My humanities class will go on-line after next week and I won't need to come everyday - plus I will have taken my Praxis and that pressure will be off. However the additional existing pressure is that I am unemployed and spending money on accommodations is an issue - what to do -
Adventure....
I decided I would live in my car. I can do this for two weeks. I would bring my sleeping bag, book light and clothing. I would park my car at Walmart (they let you park overnight) and in the morning go brush my teeth, comb my hair, and change clothes, put on makeup etc. For computer service I would use the library or the computer lab at Pueblo Community College. For safety, I would borrow my friend's son's 22 pistol he taught me to shoot, and sleep with it. I even thought about trying out the free breakfast bar at one of the hotels - okay - so I am not a guest - but I have always wanted to try that and see if I could get away with it. I know the little scoundrel in me is coming out. For some reason, my friends and family were not cool with this plan.
I just received my tax refund check (God's timing is always perfect!) Now I have some funds to change my plan up. So I decided to stay in a hostel. I have always wanted to try that out. I found one in Durango. Yesterday I checked in. Very nice accommodations but very different...I have joined the hippy lifestyle...
I am sharing a room with two other women. One is here for two weeks in an addiction recovery program. She is having amino acid therapy to replace lost brain cells. I hope it works. Within two minutes of talking with her, she told me there was a hostel in Durango to stay in....ummm newsflash...we are in Durango....in the hostel...as we speak...hmmm....maybe I will go get that padlock for my locker space...LOL....the other woman doesn't believe in deodorant....lovely....however she did take a shower before bedtime. How can you still smell after a shower....oh yeah...natural soap...give me bath and body works any day...my bed is by the window and the window is open...after a while I didn't smell anything.
The hostel is like a house with a lot of house guests of every type. The upstairs living area is equipped with a full-size large kitchen,living area with 3 computers, and a couple of bedrooms. It is very modern and extremely nice.
Oh yeah, bathrooms....Since I am downstairs in the "dorm" we also have co-ed bathroom facilities. Hmmm...this is a new experience as well. There is a private bathroom if you want to use it but only for potty purposes. The tub is under repair so you have to use the co-ed bathroom facilities for a shower. Okay - let me just say that this morning when I got up to use the bathroom and opened the door to the communal bathroom and a man was shaving at the sink....I wasn't sure I was cut out for this lifestyle - BUT - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do - so I smiled, walked past him into the stall and well...you know... LOL
As for costs - $22 a night for a very nice place to stay - you just have to get used to living with people you don't know. Kind of like college life only with an older,(and younger)mixed crowd.
well....must go and study for awhile...I am in turbo study mode...every minute counts.....just needed to blog my thoughts...
Laughing as I type....
Jaye
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Toenails, bras and other random things
Wellll.....geez....it's been awhile. So "awhile" that I couldn't remember my password to get on here. So MUCH has happened since I last wrote. But first - let me tell you about my nail adventure. As in fingernail adventure.
In my own personal ecomonic crunch, I have had to give up doing my nails - you know going to the salon to "get my nail done"....in "15 minute"...."you pick culah (color)"....it has been a really hard thing but I have survived.(LOL) However,I saw a commercial on TV for "Kiss" nails and they looked really good so when I went to the grocery store last time I checked to see if they had them and they did. So I bought them. This past Saturday I decided to experiment with them. Spent 30 minutes putting on my fingernails and they looked fantastic! French manicure in 30 minutes - just glue them on and shazam! they are on - I can handle this. Then I put some on my toes. (you get 24 in the box for fingers and toes) Holy smokes! they are looking great. But how long will they last? Well, it is Tuesday and I have glued two toenails back on so far....until a little bit ago. got up from the sofa to make a potty break and looked down and a toenail was gone. When did I lose it? I know I made it home with it. So I start looking for my toenail...you know how people used to look for contacts in the carpet? Well I am looking for my toenail - back and forth across the Barbie Townhouse condo - can't find the toenail. Every little piece of white whatever is snatched up in hopes it is the "nail." finally I decided I would just have to take out a new nail. As I sat back on the sofa and picked up my computer - there it was - the little nail was under the computer. Ok so we are up to 3 toenails being glued back on. I have put the glue in my purse for emergencies - probably should add some nails too - don't you think?
Now for the bra adventure -
I am teaching school (I will tell you about that later) and Friday I wore a top with a strapless bra. We get out at 1:30 every Friday - at least the kids do - and we stay for staff meeting and planning. Early day or not, no matter how hard I try I just can't get out of that place before 5:30 or 6:00 and usually I am the last one to leave unless the janitors are still cleaning. So, Friday, I have this strapless bra on and it is killing me. I was sitting at my desk so I decided to take it off. After all, it is just me, myself and I left at the school. Or so I thought. I am grading papers and getting caught up and there is a knock at my door....it is one of my students and her mother. I am thinking, "I can just carry these papers in front of me and it will be fine plus the top is print and loose - they won't see anything." I let them in, visit a minute and they leave. Ok. that was cool. 10 minutes later....another student knocks on the door - a boy student - "Ms. Jaye, can I use your key?" Sure I say smiling and toss him the key. He brings it back and I think okay that worked. A few minutes later another male student comes to my door and asks to borrow my key....and then another....then I realize the jr. honor society is having a car wash and that is why kids are still there. After the last student threw me back my key and left, I very discreetly put the strapless b. back on. I think I'll just wait til I get home to get comfortable.....(LOL)
Jr. High - I think I was subbing the last time I wrote...well...talk about the hand of the Lord on you...finding Favor with the King and all those fine things....Wow...listen to this story.
January: I am subbing quite often in the jr. high. One particular day I was there on a ski day - yeah get this - the resort gives the kids 5th-8th grade 4 ski days a year. Total cost of skiing for the day is $25. This includes lift ticket, ski and boot rental, and a lesson. Teachers get to go for free I think. Well I was subbing and I got to go. I went snowshoeing since I don't do the ski thing.
The 8th grade Language Arts teacher had given notice and the school had offered a job to a teacher in Alamosa, NM. However, she could not come until spring break.
So my awesome, wonderful friend Faith who is a paraprofessional at the school just "HAPPENED" to be skiing with the 7th grade LA arts teacher who just happened to have me on speed dial for her sub! Faith asked her how the teacher search was going. The LA teacher answered that they had found someone but she couldn't come until spring break and they needed a long term sub until the new teacher could come. Faith says, "Why don't you ask Jaye? She would be great!" LA teacher loved the idea. As soon as we arrived back at school, she went to see the principal and recommended me for the sub position. They offered me the long-term sub position for 8th grade LA. I was only supposed to be there until the end of April. Well the teacher ended up not being able to accept the position and they asked me to stay for the rest of the year. I have been the 8th grade sub since January and next Tuesday I will have filled the position for half the year. and.....I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!
You know all those crazy jobs, including the one I was FIRED from (I'm not bitter LOL) and the yucky medicine was for my good! I discovered I love teaching Language Arts, love jr. high kids,.....I have had the best time of my life these last few months.....until today I wasn't ready for school to end but today I told my last period class I had one nerve left and they were all on it! You know how you come to that moment when it is time for your own personal, biological offspring to leave the nest? It is time for these kids to go to high school. A couple of them told me they may be held back and I am praying that the "No child left behind" is still in effect and they are moving on....LOL
It truly is so that "all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." (you all know I know that!) So now for the next HUGE faith step....
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO APPLY FOR THE POSITION! But I have an intense summer before me. I will graduate from University of Phoenix July 28th!!!!!!! Can't believe it is finally going to happen but here is the intense schedule:
UoP: two classes left....I am not going to explain how that works but trust me it can be intense.
Pueblo community college, Durango - an hour away -: must take a science and humanities to finish core curriculum classes. Man I wish I had done those in Austin!
I will be traveling back and forth to Durango 5 days a week for my classes. I need to find a friend in Durango to stay with so that I can spend Mon & Wed nights in Durango (late night class followed by an early morning class)
Praxis I & II test June 13th: I have to pass these tests especially the Middle School Language arts one. Really, really, need to pass those tests to be qualified for the job.
I know that the Lord laid this job in my lap and I am so hoping it is going to become a permanent position. I have never wanted a job so badly in my life. I love what I am doing. However, it is a lot of intense study and work for the next couple of months. Here comes the faith step: I can't work and get all of my studying done. How on earth am I going to not work? I'll tell you - "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding..." that's how it is done.
Pray for me to accomplish all that is set before me. Pray for favor with the hiring team (oh by the way - we just received our NWEA results which is like a benchmark test done at the beginning of the year, middle and end. My results were very good. My kids scored more than a year's growth 3 out of 5 categories and at grade level on the other two categories. The superintendent of the school said, "Your sub is getting the job done." The principal said these results were impressive and I could be proud to show them to any school." I said, "Yeah and I came in here with no experience in the field!" Yes, I was pleased. Pray for financial favor...I don't know the how's and wherefore's, I just know my God.
Okay you are probably thinking I will never shut up....so good night and it felt good to write again!
Ms. Jaye
In my own personal ecomonic crunch, I have had to give up doing my nails - you know going to the salon to "get my nail done"....in "15 minute"...."you pick culah (color)"....it has been a really hard thing but I have survived.(LOL) However,I saw a commercial on TV for "Kiss" nails and they looked really good so when I went to the grocery store last time I checked to see if they had them and they did. So I bought them. This past Saturday I decided to experiment with them. Spent 30 minutes putting on my fingernails and they looked fantastic! French manicure in 30 minutes - just glue them on and shazam! they are on - I can handle this. Then I put some on my toes. (you get 24 in the box for fingers and toes) Holy smokes! they are looking great. But how long will they last? Well, it is Tuesday and I have glued two toenails back on so far....until a little bit ago. got up from the sofa to make a potty break and looked down and a toenail was gone. When did I lose it? I know I made it home with it. So I start looking for my toenail...you know how people used to look for contacts in the carpet? Well I am looking for my toenail - back and forth across the Barbie Townhouse condo - can't find the toenail. Every little piece of white whatever is snatched up in hopes it is the "nail." finally I decided I would just have to take out a new nail. As I sat back on the sofa and picked up my computer - there it was - the little nail was under the computer. Ok so we are up to 3 toenails being glued back on. I have put the glue in my purse for emergencies - probably should add some nails too - don't you think?
Now for the bra adventure -
I am teaching school (I will tell you about that later) and Friday I wore a top with a strapless bra. We get out at 1:30 every Friday - at least the kids do - and we stay for staff meeting and planning. Early day or not, no matter how hard I try I just can't get out of that place before 5:30 or 6:00 and usually I am the last one to leave unless the janitors are still cleaning. So, Friday, I have this strapless bra on and it is killing me. I was sitting at my desk so I decided to take it off. After all, it is just me, myself and I left at the school. Or so I thought. I am grading papers and getting caught up and there is a knock at my door....it is one of my students and her mother. I am thinking, "I can just carry these papers in front of me and it will be fine plus the top is print and loose - they won't see anything." I let them in, visit a minute and they leave. Ok. that was cool. 10 minutes later....another student knocks on the door - a boy student - "Ms. Jaye, can I use your key?" Sure I say smiling and toss him the key. He brings it back and I think okay that worked. A few minutes later another male student comes to my door and asks to borrow my key....and then another....then I realize the jr. honor society is having a car wash and that is why kids are still there. After the last student threw me back my key and left, I very discreetly put the strapless b. back on. I think I'll just wait til I get home to get comfortable.....(LOL)
Jr. High - I think I was subbing the last time I wrote...well...talk about the hand of the Lord on you...finding Favor with the King and all those fine things....Wow...listen to this story.
January: I am subbing quite often in the jr. high. One particular day I was there on a ski day - yeah get this - the resort gives the kids 5th-8th grade 4 ski days a year. Total cost of skiing for the day is $25. This includes lift ticket, ski and boot rental, and a lesson. Teachers get to go for free I think. Well I was subbing and I got to go. I went snowshoeing since I don't do the ski thing.
The 8th grade Language Arts teacher had given notice and the school had offered a job to a teacher in Alamosa, NM. However, she could not come until spring break.
So my awesome, wonderful friend Faith who is a paraprofessional at the school just "HAPPENED" to be skiing with the 7th grade LA arts teacher who just happened to have me on speed dial for her sub! Faith asked her how the teacher search was going. The LA teacher answered that they had found someone but she couldn't come until spring break and they needed a long term sub until the new teacher could come. Faith says, "Why don't you ask Jaye? She would be great!" LA teacher loved the idea. As soon as we arrived back at school, she went to see the principal and recommended me for the sub position. They offered me the long-term sub position for 8th grade LA. I was only supposed to be there until the end of April. Well the teacher ended up not being able to accept the position and they asked me to stay for the rest of the year. I have been the 8th grade sub since January and next Tuesday I will have filled the position for half the year. and.....I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!
You know all those crazy jobs, including the one I was FIRED from (I'm not bitter LOL) and the yucky medicine was for my good! I discovered I love teaching Language Arts, love jr. high kids,.....I have had the best time of my life these last few months.....until today I wasn't ready for school to end but today I told my last period class I had one nerve left and they were all on it! You know how you come to that moment when it is time for your own personal, biological offspring to leave the nest? It is time for these kids to go to high school. A couple of them told me they may be held back and I am praying that the "No child left behind" is still in effect and they are moving on....LOL
It truly is so that "all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." (you all know I know that!) So now for the next HUGE faith step....
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO APPLY FOR THE POSITION! But I have an intense summer before me. I will graduate from University of Phoenix July 28th!!!!!!! Can't believe it is finally going to happen but here is the intense schedule:
UoP: two classes left....I am not going to explain how that works but trust me it can be intense.
Pueblo community college, Durango - an hour away -: must take a science and humanities to finish core curriculum classes. Man I wish I had done those in Austin!
I will be traveling back and forth to Durango 5 days a week for my classes. I need to find a friend in Durango to stay with so that I can spend Mon & Wed nights in Durango (late night class followed by an early morning class)
Praxis I & II test June 13th: I have to pass these tests especially the Middle School Language arts one. Really, really, need to pass those tests to be qualified for the job.
I know that the Lord laid this job in my lap and I am so hoping it is going to become a permanent position. I have never wanted a job so badly in my life. I love what I am doing. However, it is a lot of intense study and work for the next couple of months. Here comes the faith step: I can't work and get all of my studying done. How on earth am I going to not work? I'll tell you - "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding..." that's how it is done.
Pray for me to accomplish all that is set before me. Pray for favor with the hiring team (oh by the way - we just received our NWEA results which is like a benchmark test done at the beginning of the year, middle and end. My results were very good. My kids scored more than a year's growth 3 out of 5 categories and at grade level on the other two categories. The superintendent of the school said, "Your sub is getting the job done." The principal said these results were impressive and I could be proud to show them to any school." I said, "Yeah and I came in here with no experience in the field!" Yes, I was pleased. Pray for financial favor...I don't know the how's and wherefore's, I just know my God.
Okay you are probably thinking I will never shut up....so good night and it felt good to write again!
Ms. Jaye
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Yucky Medicine
My mother was never one to take us to the doctor other than for vaccinations and scheduled checkups and the occasional emergency room visit. So when my sisters and I came down with colds, my mother had her own way to treat us......which we hated.
With that first sneeze and sniffle, after taking our bath and before tucking us in for the night, Mom would have the sick child stand before her and she would "grease" that child's chest and neck with Vick's and then have her (the sick one) turn around and Mom would "grease" the back. Then Mom would have us put on our pajama top, the kind that had the snaps around the waist.....some of you will remember those jammies.....the bottoms had feet in them and the top snapped down the back and attached to the bottoms with snaps around the waist. After we got the top on she would then pin a washcloth to the inside front of the pajamas and snap us all in. I guess the washcloth was so our top didn't stick to our chest....I don't know....but I remember we hated the Vick's treatment and would cry when she would do it. We would walk around holding our top away from our chest so nothing stuck to our chest. Then we would go to bed and she would make us sleep under the vaporizer (now you've got your front and back stuck to the jammies...yuck).....oh! and for good measure she would put a dab of Vick's under our nose to open up our sinuses.....ugh.
Then when Nyquil came out and we were old enough to take it, she would give us a dose of Nyquil before going to bed. It has ruined me for life. I can't even look at the bottle, read the name or write it without my stomach flinching! Absolutely hate that stuff and will not take it even today.....I am sure it is one notch below a shot of whiskey......or poison or something.....AAAAUUUUUUGH!
My mom's yucky medicine treatments she did to us - I mean for us (LOL)- was done out of her love for us and the responsibility she took in making sure we got well. We did not like the Vick's treatment one bit and I certainly don't like Nyquil but the measures my mom took to treat us did work and made us well.
I would have to say I view the last few months of my life as a little bit of "yucky" medicine from the Lord. Unemployment....scary....worry for my child's emotional being......even more scary......but God has used this "yucky medicine" to grow and, yes, heal me in a whole new way. Let me tell you how Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes" and Jeremiah 29:11, my personal mantra, life verse, whatever you want to call it......"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a future and a hope" have been revealed to me in yet another way....God's word is so amazing.
Substitute teaching....I have several teacher friends. They introduced me to their teacher friends and since I have started subbing I have consistently averaged at least two subbing jobs a week, sometimes three. Just last week, I had nothing on my calendar and by Monday morning, I had three teaching jobs for the week. That is God, my friends.
I have had most of my jobs in the jr. high and honestly - I was scared to teach jr. high because I thought they would eat me alive. How wrong I have been. I love jr. high kids. They have brought me joy and laughter each time I have subbed for them.
Ex: 1 I wore this really retro 60's outfit to school one day. R. came into class, sat on the front and critiqued my outfit out loud. I received a "you've got style, Ms. Jaye." Thanks R!
Ex: 2 One of the kids had a birthday and the mom brought cupcakes for the class. Another kid, 8th grader, came in and said, "How come he gets cupcakes..." and proceeded to whine about it. I said, "E., it is G's b-day. Have your mom bring cupcakes for you on your birthday." He replied, "I don't have a mom." Oh. We had a conversation about his mom dying of cancer and Kade dying of his disease. I told him I would bring him a cake for his b-day. Everytime, I have subbed he has come up to me and said, "Ms. Jaye, you don't have to make me a cake." I said, "I know, but I want to." Finally, on Monday, he came up one more time and said, "Ms. Jaye, you really don't have to make me a cake." His birthday is this week. I said again, "I know, but I am." Then he said, "Okay, are you going to make it round or long? Make it round so I can take it home and share with my dad." He wanted it chocolate w/chocolate. I got up yesterday morning, made his cake and delivered it to school. He wouldn't share with anyone and held onto it. I loved doing that for him.
The assistant principal told me there were only 545 more students in the school. If word gets out, I am in trouble....LOL
Ex.3: I subbed for one class the other day and they were not behaving too well. One girl said, "This isn't going well is it?" I replied no. J. looked at me and said, "Ms. Jaye are you going to write our names down?" If you give their names to the teacher there are consequences....like essay writing....I said, "J. that is a great idea! I think I will do that!" He looked at me and said, "Ms. J, if you do that our friendship is over." I laughed and said, "I'm sorry." Later on he came in and said, "Best friend, what time is it." He cracks me up.
Ex.4: C.....oh my goodness....everytime I look at this boy I am reminded of Kade. I just want to squeeze this child. I finally told him the other day he reminded me of my son and I just wanted to hug him but I assured him I would restrain myself. He smiled and although he has always been good for me, he has taken it upon himself to look out for me and call kids down if they get out of line.
I tell you these stories because if I hadn't been forced to seek out alternative means of employment opportunities, I would have never subbed and discovered - no rediscovered - my love for teaching. I have so rediscovered this love that when I graduate in JUNE 2009 -YEEHAW! - I am taking the Praxis exam to enter the alternative teaching certification program so that I can teach school. When school (college) is done for me, I will basically be getting two degrees at the same time - Social services and teaching....
Ministry. My heart and passion is for ministry. The past few months, because of my lighter schedule, I have had opportunity to really throw myself into children's and women's ministry. I am teaching children's church each Sunday and having time to plan really fun events which I love! Women's ministry has been revived because I have had time to spend on it. I am getting to do all the fun things I really, really love doing.
So, what started out as "yucky spiritual medicine" in my eyes has been the best thing for me. The Lord has proved faithful in providing for me each step of the way. Okay, I know that you know that we all know that He will do what He says - but there is a huge difference in having the head knowledge and living it out first hand. So instead of writing my tithe check out in trepidation and thinking, "I can't afford this....", tithing has become sort of a game between the Lord and I. I hand it over and He smiles and says, "Watch this, my love." I don't have the job security (really, who does) to see how the money will be there, I just have the confidence of knowing my Lord will provide.....Great is His Faithfulness. So another spiritual muscle of mine is developing and going through the toning process.
I am at the most happy place I have ever been.....it isn't the medicine...which I am sure has helped, it is knowing in a whole new way that I am truly in the hand of my Father, the lover of my soul, my provider, my Prince of peace...Gone is the worry of finances. My father owns the cattle of a thousand hills, is immensely rich and loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that the yucky medicine Dad allowed in my life has been out of his absolute love for me and that His purpose has been to show me a new side of Him I didn't know - to prosper me spiritually. His desire for me is that I KNOW Him......really, really KNOW Him. So I close.....
Living securely in my Daddy's arms,
Ms. Jaye
With that first sneeze and sniffle, after taking our bath and before tucking us in for the night, Mom would have the sick child stand before her and she would "grease" that child's chest and neck with Vick's and then have her (the sick one) turn around and Mom would "grease" the back. Then Mom would have us put on our pajama top, the kind that had the snaps around the waist.....some of you will remember those jammies.....the bottoms had feet in them and the top snapped down the back and attached to the bottoms with snaps around the waist. After we got the top on she would then pin a washcloth to the inside front of the pajamas and snap us all in. I guess the washcloth was so our top didn't stick to our chest....I don't know....but I remember we hated the Vick's treatment and would cry when she would do it. We would walk around holding our top away from our chest so nothing stuck to our chest. Then we would go to bed and she would make us sleep under the vaporizer (now you've got your front and back stuck to the jammies...yuck).....oh! and for good measure she would put a dab of Vick's under our nose to open up our sinuses.....ugh.
Then when Nyquil came out and we were old enough to take it, she would give us a dose of Nyquil before going to bed. It has ruined me for life. I can't even look at the bottle, read the name or write it without my stomach flinching! Absolutely hate that stuff and will not take it even today.....I am sure it is one notch below a shot of whiskey......or poison or something.....AAAAUUUUUUGH!
My mom's yucky medicine treatments she did to us - I mean for us (LOL)- was done out of her love for us and the responsibility she took in making sure we got well. We did not like the Vick's treatment one bit and I certainly don't like Nyquil but the measures my mom took to treat us did work and made us well.
I would have to say I view the last few months of my life as a little bit of "yucky" medicine from the Lord. Unemployment....scary....worry for my child's emotional being......even more scary......but God has used this "yucky medicine" to grow and, yes, heal me in a whole new way. Let me tell you how Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes" and Jeremiah 29:11, my personal mantra, life verse, whatever you want to call it......"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a future and a hope" have been revealed to me in yet another way....God's word is so amazing.
Substitute teaching....I have several teacher friends. They introduced me to their teacher friends and since I have started subbing I have consistently averaged at least two subbing jobs a week, sometimes three. Just last week, I had nothing on my calendar and by Monday morning, I had three teaching jobs for the week. That is God, my friends.
I have had most of my jobs in the jr. high and honestly - I was scared to teach jr. high because I thought they would eat me alive. How wrong I have been. I love jr. high kids. They have brought me joy and laughter each time I have subbed for them.
Ex: 1 I wore this really retro 60's outfit to school one day. R. came into class, sat on the front and critiqued my outfit out loud. I received a "you've got style, Ms. Jaye." Thanks R!
Ex: 2 One of the kids had a birthday and the mom brought cupcakes for the class. Another kid, 8th grader, came in and said, "How come he gets cupcakes..." and proceeded to whine about it. I said, "E., it is G's b-day. Have your mom bring cupcakes for you on your birthday." He replied, "I don't have a mom." Oh. We had a conversation about his mom dying of cancer and Kade dying of his disease. I told him I would bring him a cake for his b-day. Everytime, I have subbed he has come up to me and said, "Ms. Jaye, you don't have to make me a cake." I said, "I know, but I want to." Finally, on Monday, he came up one more time and said, "Ms. Jaye, you really don't have to make me a cake." His birthday is this week. I said again, "I know, but I am." Then he said, "Okay, are you going to make it round or long? Make it round so I can take it home and share with my dad." He wanted it chocolate w/chocolate. I got up yesterday morning, made his cake and delivered it to school. He wouldn't share with anyone and held onto it. I loved doing that for him.
The assistant principal told me there were only 545 more students in the school. If word gets out, I am in trouble....LOL
Ex.3: I subbed for one class the other day and they were not behaving too well. One girl said, "This isn't going well is it?" I replied no. J. looked at me and said, "Ms. Jaye are you going to write our names down?" If you give their names to the teacher there are consequences....like essay writing....I said, "J. that is a great idea! I think I will do that!" He looked at me and said, "Ms. J, if you do that our friendship is over." I laughed and said, "I'm sorry." Later on he came in and said, "Best friend, what time is it." He cracks me up.
Ex.4: C.....oh my goodness....everytime I look at this boy I am reminded of Kade. I just want to squeeze this child. I finally told him the other day he reminded me of my son and I just wanted to hug him but I assured him I would restrain myself. He smiled and although he has always been good for me, he has taken it upon himself to look out for me and call kids down if they get out of line.
I tell you these stories because if I hadn't been forced to seek out alternative means of employment opportunities, I would have never subbed and discovered - no rediscovered - my love for teaching. I have so rediscovered this love that when I graduate in JUNE 2009 -YEEHAW! - I am taking the Praxis exam to enter the alternative teaching certification program so that I can teach school. When school (college) is done for me, I will basically be getting two degrees at the same time - Social services and teaching....
Ministry. My heart and passion is for ministry. The past few months, because of my lighter schedule, I have had opportunity to really throw myself into children's and women's ministry. I am teaching children's church each Sunday and having time to plan really fun events which I love! Women's ministry has been revived because I have had time to spend on it. I am getting to do all the fun things I really, really love doing.
So, what started out as "yucky spiritual medicine" in my eyes has been the best thing for me. The Lord has proved faithful in providing for me each step of the way. Okay, I know that you know that we all know that He will do what He says - but there is a huge difference in having the head knowledge and living it out first hand. So instead of writing my tithe check out in trepidation and thinking, "I can't afford this....", tithing has become sort of a game between the Lord and I. I hand it over and He smiles and says, "Watch this, my love." I don't have the job security (really, who does) to see how the money will be there, I just have the confidence of knowing my Lord will provide.....Great is His Faithfulness. So another spiritual muscle of mine is developing and going through the toning process.
I am at the most happy place I have ever been.....it isn't the medicine...which I am sure has helped, it is knowing in a whole new way that I am truly in the hand of my Father, the lover of my soul, my provider, my Prince of peace...Gone is the worry of finances. My father owns the cattle of a thousand hills, is immensely rich and loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that the yucky medicine Dad allowed in my life has been out of his absolute love for me and that His purpose has been to show me a new side of Him I didn't know - to prosper me spiritually. His desire for me is that I KNOW Him......really, really KNOW Him. So I close.....
Living securely in my Daddy's arms,
Ms. Jaye
The Ash Heap cont'd.
I have left you hanging for a while, huh? For those of you wondering what may have happened with the ash heap I will fill you in.....if I can remember. LOL. I really should follow myself fast because I can't even keep up!!! LOL
The ash heap. I left the ladies retreat still sad and unsure of what to do. A few days later I received an email from my estranged son and knew emotionally he was not in a good place. Okay, put me aside, I thought, and focus on the boy child. Now I am not only dealing with my stuff but I have added the concern for my child. I don't cry "uncle" very well but finally I did and made an appointment with a doctor.
I have had some pretty yucky things happen and have been able to deal with them without medication but this time I couldn't. After visiting with the doctor and telling a brief sypnosis about my life the last five years, he prescribed an antidepressant. He said, "Jaye, you have had a lot of trauma the last few years and I am quite sure your serotonin levels are totally out of whack....." Yeah.....you are probably right. Nevertheless, I felt like a failure for not being able to just let God handle me but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was.
I then began to focus on how to support myself during this unemployment time. Substitute teaching, working for my friend's company some and doing children and women's ministry at my church......
I am going to end the post here because I have a lot to say about that....
Life started to look up......
The ash heap. I left the ladies retreat still sad and unsure of what to do. A few days later I received an email from my estranged son and knew emotionally he was not in a good place. Okay, put me aside, I thought, and focus on the boy child. Now I am not only dealing with my stuff but I have added the concern for my child. I don't cry "uncle" very well but finally I did and made an appointment with a doctor.
I have had some pretty yucky things happen and have been able to deal with them without medication but this time I couldn't. After visiting with the doctor and telling a brief sypnosis about my life the last five years, he prescribed an antidepressant. He said, "Jaye, you have had a lot of trauma the last few years and I am quite sure your serotonin levels are totally out of whack....." Yeah.....you are probably right. Nevertheless, I felt like a failure for not being able to just let God handle me but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was.
I then began to focus on how to support myself during this unemployment time. Substitute teaching, working for my friend's company some and doing children and women's ministry at my church......
I am going to end the post here because I have a lot to say about that....
Life started to look up......
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