Saturday, December 20, 2008

Yucky Medicine

My mother was never one to take us to the doctor other than for vaccinations and scheduled checkups and the occasional emergency room visit. So when my sisters and I came down with colds, my mother had her own way to treat us......which we hated.

With that first sneeze and sniffle, after taking our bath and before tucking us in for the night, Mom would have the sick child stand before her and she would "grease" that child's chest and neck with Vick's and then have her (the sick one) turn around and Mom would "grease" the back. Then Mom would have us put on our pajama top, the kind that had the snaps around the waist.....some of you will remember those jammies.....the bottoms had feet in them and the top snapped down the back and attached to the bottoms with snaps around the waist. After we got the top on she would then pin a washcloth to the inside front of the pajamas and snap us all in. I guess the washcloth was so our top didn't stick to our chest....I don't know....but I remember we hated the Vick's treatment and would cry when she would do it. We would walk around holding our top away from our chest so nothing stuck to our chest. Then we would go to bed and she would make us sleep under the vaporizer (now you've got your front and back stuck to the jammies...yuck).....oh! and for good measure she would put a dab of Vick's under our nose to open up our sinuses.....ugh.

Then when Nyquil came out and we were old enough to take it, she would give us a dose of Nyquil before going to bed. It has ruined me for life. I can't even look at the bottle, read the name or write it without my stomach flinching! Absolutely hate that stuff and will not take it even today.....I am sure it is one notch below a shot of whiskey......or poison or something.....AAAAUUUUUUGH!

My mom's yucky medicine treatments she did to us - I mean for us (LOL)- was done out of her love for us and the responsibility she took in making sure we got well. We did not like the Vick's treatment one bit and I certainly don't like Nyquil but the measures my mom took to treat us did work and made us well.

I would have to say I view the last few months of my life as a little bit of "yucky" medicine from the Lord. Unemployment....scary....worry for my child's emotional being......even more scary......but God has used this "yucky medicine" to grow and, yes, heal me in a whole new way. Let me tell you how Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes" and Jeremiah 29:11, my personal mantra, life verse, whatever you want to call it......"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you and give you a future and a hope" have been revealed to me in yet another way....God's word is so amazing.

Substitute teaching....I have several teacher friends. They introduced me to their teacher friends and since I have started subbing I have consistently averaged at least two subbing jobs a week, sometimes three. Just last week, I had nothing on my calendar and by Monday morning, I had three teaching jobs for the week. That is God, my friends.

I have had most of my jobs in the jr. high and honestly - I was scared to teach jr. high because I thought they would eat me alive. How wrong I have been. I love jr. high kids. They have brought me joy and laughter each time I have subbed for them.
Ex: 1 I wore this really retro 60's outfit to school one day. R. came into class, sat on the front and critiqued my outfit out loud. I received a "you've got style, Ms. Jaye." Thanks R!

Ex: 2 One of the kids had a birthday and the mom brought cupcakes for the class. Another kid, 8th grader, came in and said, "How come he gets cupcakes..." and proceeded to whine about it. I said, "E., it is G's b-day. Have your mom bring cupcakes for you on your birthday." He replied, "I don't have a mom." Oh. We had a conversation about his mom dying of cancer and Kade dying of his disease. I told him I would bring him a cake for his b-day. Everytime, I have subbed he has come up to me and said, "Ms. Jaye, you don't have to make me a cake." I said, "I know, but I want to." Finally, on Monday, he came up one more time and said, "Ms. Jaye, you really don't have to make me a cake." His birthday is this week. I said again, "I know, but I am." Then he said, "Okay, are you going to make it round or long? Make it round so I can take it home and share with my dad." He wanted it chocolate w/chocolate. I got up yesterday morning, made his cake and delivered it to school. He wouldn't share with anyone and held onto it. I loved doing that for him.
The assistant principal told me there were only 545 more students in the school. If word gets out, I am in trouble....LOL

Ex.3: I subbed for one class the other day and they were not behaving too well. One girl said, "This isn't going well is it?" I replied no. J. looked at me and said, "Ms. Jaye are you going to write our names down?" If you give their names to the teacher there are essay writing....I said, "J. that is a great idea! I think I will do that!" He looked at me and said, "Ms. J, if you do that our friendship is over." I laughed and said, "I'm sorry." Later on he came in and said, "Best friend, what time is it." He cracks me up.

Ex.4: C.....oh my goodness....everytime I look at this boy I am reminded of Kade. I just want to squeeze this child. I finally told him the other day he reminded me of my son and I just wanted to hug him but I assured him I would restrain myself. He smiled and although he has always been good for me, he has taken it upon himself to look out for me and call kids down if they get out of line.

I tell you these stories because if I hadn't been forced to seek out alternative means of employment opportunities, I would have never subbed and discovered - no rediscovered - my love for teaching. I have so rediscovered this love that when I graduate in JUNE 2009 -YEEHAW! - I am taking the Praxis exam to enter the alternative teaching certification program so that I can teach school. When school (college) is done for me, I will basically be getting two degrees at the same time - Social services and teaching....

Ministry. My heart and passion is for ministry. The past few months, because of my lighter schedule, I have had opportunity to really throw myself into children's and women's ministry. I am teaching children's church each Sunday and having time to plan really fun events which I love! Women's ministry has been revived because I have had time to spend on it. I am getting to do all the fun things I really, really love doing.

So, what started out as "yucky spiritual medicine" in my eyes has been the best thing for me. The Lord has proved faithful in providing for me each step of the way. Okay, I know that you know that we all know that He will do what He says - but there is a huge difference in having the head knowledge and living it out first hand. So instead of writing my tithe check out in trepidation and thinking, "I can't afford this....", tithing has become sort of a game between the Lord and I. I hand it over and He smiles and says, "Watch this, my love." I don't have the job security (really, who does) to see how the money will be there, I just have the confidence of knowing my Lord will provide.....Great is His Faithfulness. So another spiritual muscle of mine is developing and going through the toning process.

I am at the most happy place I have ever isn't the medicine...which I am sure has helped, it is knowing in a whole new way that I am truly in the hand of my Father, the lover of my soul, my provider, my Prince of peace...Gone is the worry of finances. My father owns the cattle of a thousand hills, is immensely rich and loves me beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that the yucky medicine Dad allowed in my life has been out of his absolute love for me and that His purpose has been to show me a new side of Him I didn't know - to prosper me spiritually. His desire for me is that I KNOW Him......really, really KNOW Him. So I close.....

Living securely in my Daddy's arms,
Ms. Jaye

The Ash Heap cont'd.

I have left you hanging for a while, huh? For those of you wondering what may have happened with the ash heap I will fill you in.....if I can remember. LOL. I really should follow myself fast because I can't even keep up!!! LOL

The ash heap. I left the ladies retreat still sad and unsure of what to do. A few days later I received an email from my estranged son and knew emotionally he was not in a good place. Okay, put me aside, I thought, and focus on the boy child. Now I am not only dealing with my stuff but I have added the concern for my child. I don't cry "uncle" very well but finally I did and made an appointment with a doctor.

I have had some pretty yucky things happen and have been able to deal with them without medication but this time I couldn't. After visiting with the doctor and telling a brief sypnosis about my life the last five years, he prescribed an antidepressant. He said, "Jaye, you have had a lot of trauma the last few years and I am quite sure your serotonin levels are totally out of whack....." are probably right. Nevertheless, I felt like a failure for not being able to just let God handle me but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was.

I then began to focus on how to support myself during this unemployment time. Substitute teaching, working for my friend's company some and doing children and women's ministry at my church......

I am going to end the post here because I have a lot to say about that....
Life started to look up......